Overdid things (natch) this Xmas and as a consequence am paying for it now big-stylie. Add in a stinking cold and you have one girl who feels v.sorry for herself this evening!
I was on my feet for quite some time on Christmas Day resulting in extreme pain in my groin and down the front of my legs late afternoon and into the evening... strangely enough when I woke up on Boxing Day they were gone. My pain now takes two forms - there is the 'usual' post-op pain for which I now take 8 assorted painkillers a day (down from 21!) and there is the 'overdid it' pain, self-explanatory and v.severe, which when it happens can add another 8 painkillers to the mix. The key to this whole recovery malarky is to do core exercises/hydro religiously and do everything else at a slow and sensible pace, even walking. There was no hydro on Friday so I'm really looking forward to getting down to the gym pool later in the week when this cold goes.
Muscle fizzing, extreme tiredness and back fatigue are still issues as is anxiety. I understand that healing takes time and that negativity and an unhealthy frame of mind do not aid healing, but you know what? I just can't get this fear of "re-injuring" my back out of my mind and I am worried that in the future it will hold me back from doing all sorts of things. Only time will tell, I guess...
Monday 29 December 2008
TIPS: Preparing for surgery
Quite a few of you who are pre-op have contacted me and asked if I have any tips to make your stay in hospital and the surgery more bearable. Well, here goes:-
Pre-op body preparation - CORE! CORE! CORE! - strengthening of your core muscles through Pilates, FitBall or swimming is the best aid to recovery that you can do beforehand.
Getting up - physios will be around within 24 hours of the op to get you up and out of bed. When they came to me they brought a zimmer and crutches - I managed to walk to the ward gym on the crutches and climb up and down 5 steps - in total the exercises lasted 10 mins max. I would be lying if I said it was not painful BUT it wasn't as awful as I imagined it would be and once up the pain did settle down. It was a lot easier after the first time plus you can then get yourself to the loo and bathroom. Because you are used to living with pain, you will probably have quite a high resistance already, which helps. But my biggest tip to any of you is to take all the drugs they throw at you - the more drugs you have in your system when the physios arrive, the less painful it will be when they get you up (this tip was given to me by the Ward Sister at my pre-assessment). Also please don't be afraid if they offer you morphine (oramorph, oxycontin, injections etc.) - I know a lot of people worry about taking morphine but I've been assured you can't get addicted to it when your body is using it for pain (apparently it is metabolised in a different way by the body as to when used recreationally).
Showering - I wasn't able to shower until I had my stitches out and the wound was completely dry. The first day I just had a wash at the bed with a nurse washing my back and legs - don't forget to pack a flannel and soap! Once I was up I used the sink in the ward bathroom BUT you will need help (family, friend, nurse). It is v.v. tiring and quite painful at first - even now I struggle with my feet. As for hair washing - bending over a sink or shoving only your head in the shower was a nightmare - you will want to do it as quickly as possible so I suggest you buy either an all-in-one shampoo/conditioner or a leave-in conditioner that can be applied afterwards. Believe me, you will want it to be over in one quick wash!!! I took unperfumed baby wipes with me and these were great for refreshing myself during the day and keeping my hands clean. I found the drugs made me sweat terribly, especially during the night, so these really came in handy.
Dryness - your mouth will feel like Ghandi's armpit after the op. and what with all the drugs - take a lipsalve in with you and some nice flavoured sucking sweets.
Nightwear - a nightdress/nightshirt (yes, they do still sell them at M&S) is best for hospital as pyjama bottoms are impossible to pull up and down and the waist will only aggravate your wound if it is in the lumbar region. They turn all the lights on at 6.00am every morning to get you ready for drugs and breakfast – if you want to sleep in or even during the day suggest you pack an eye mask too.
Entertainment – don’t forget your mobile (NHS Patientline is mega expensive especially for those who phone you!), Ipod / music, books.
Home at last! – I found the raised toilet seat and perch stool invaluable for washing / loo – you can make arrangements to get them via your GP/District Nurse.
Hope the above is of help to you spineys out there...
Pre-op body preparation - CORE! CORE! CORE! - strengthening of your core muscles through Pilates, FitBall or swimming is the best aid to recovery that you can do beforehand.
Getting up - physios will be around within 24 hours of the op to get you up and out of bed. When they came to me they brought a zimmer and crutches - I managed to walk to the ward gym on the crutches and climb up and down 5 steps - in total the exercises lasted 10 mins max. I would be lying if I said it was not painful BUT it wasn't as awful as I imagined it would be and once up the pain did settle down. It was a lot easier after the first time plus you can then get yourself to the loo and bathroom. Because you are used to living with pain, you will probably have quite a high resistance already, which helps. But my biggest tip to any of you is to take all the drugs they throw at you - the more drugs you have in your system when the physios arrive, the less painful it will be when they get you up (this tip was given to me by the Ward Sister at my pre-assessment). Also please don't be afraid if they offer you morphine (oramorph, oxycontin, injections etc.) - I know a lot of people worry about taking morphine but I've been assured you can't get addicted to it when your body is using it for pain (apparently it is metabolised in a different way by the body as to when used recreationally).
Showering - I wasn't able to shower until I had my stitches out and the wound was completely dry. The first day I just had a wash at the bed with a nurse washing my back and legs - don't forget to pack a flannel and soap! Once I was up I used the sink in the ward bathroom BUT you will need help (family, friend, nurse). It is v.v. tiring and quite painful at first - even now I struggle with my feet. As for hair washing - bending over a sink or shoving only your head in the shower was a nightmare - you will want to do it as quickly as possible so I suggest you buy either an all-in-one shampoo/conditioner or a leave-in conditioner that can be applied afterwards. Believe me, you will want it to be over in one quick wash!!! I took unperfumed baby wipes with me and these were great for refreshing myself during the day and keeping my hands clean. I found the drugs made me sweat terribly, especially during the night, so these really came in handy.
Dryness - your mouth will feel like Ghandi's armpit after the op. and what with all the drugs - take a lipsalve in with you and some nice flavoured sucking sweets.
Nightwear - a nightdress/nightshirt (yes, they do still sell them at M&S) is best for hospital as pyjama bottoms are impossible to pull up and down and the waist will only aggravate your wound if it is in the lumbar region. They turn all the lights on at 6.00am every morning to get you ready for drugs and breakfast – if you want to sleep in or even during the day suggest you pack an eye mask too.
Entertainment – don’t forget your mobile (NHS Patientline is mega expensive especially for those who phone you!), Ipod / music, books.
Home at last! – I found the raised toilet seat and perch stool invaluable for washing / loo – you can make arrangements to get them via your GP/District Nurse.
Hope the above is of help to you spineys out there...
Wednesday 24 December 2008
Merry Christmas
Hi everyone, Dr. Vic here... on behalf of Kelly and myself, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy 2009. May it be kind to all of us!
I would also like to say a special thank you for all your support and comments these past few months since Kelly's op, they have been greatly appreciated x
I would also like to say a special thank you for all your support and comments these past few months since Kelly's op, they have been greatly appreciated x
Monday 22 December 2008
My back hurts like...... a very bad swear word!!!
Gggrrrr!!!! Not a good day today. I guess it's a combination of increased physio, a return to some semblance of normality, the run-up to Christmas and the stomach bug that is going around that has had me in a bit of a state these past two days...
A return to some sort of normality this past week has seen me - defuzzed and my hair cut & coloured (2 hours in chair / backwash was a step too far, methinks!). I tell you, I was starting to look like Russell Brand in drag!!! Also managed to get dressed up too i.e. no tracky or crocs, for my physio J's annual Christmas soiree. A few visitors through the week also raised both mine & Dr Vic's spirits no end as we have felt disconnected from the whole 'Christmas' thing this year...
Hydro was hard this week. The dreaded 'woggle twist' and 'woggle side-bends' are the worst - I know that twisting my back in various ways is a must but it is so bloody painful... On Saturday I really could 'feel' where I had worked my core and back muscles - it might hurt but at least I know it's doing some good, eh? Not back in the class until 9th January so am going to try to get down to my own gym and in the pool there a couple of times over the festive period.
No longer taking Diclofenic - woohoo!!! Re-jigged remaining painkillers to compensate when I need it, but hopefully it will now give my screws a better chance of bonding with the bone per my surgeons instructions.
The upshot of all this activity has resulted in my back hurting like ... well, the title of this post :-(
Dr Vic also took the mobility paraphernalia I have been using since the op back to the NHS stores this week. Out of all the bits Dr Vic got for me, I would recommend the raised toilet seat and perch stool for anyone having this sort of operation. They really have been a boon in helping me with showering, washing and the loo!!!
Finally able to sleep on my side - heaven :-). The full body pillow has done the trick - it's fab-u-lous!
I have been e-chatting with 3 wonderful ladies who, through no fault of their own, are now undergoing revision surgery as a result of Dynesys failure. Their cases sadden and frighten me at the same time. Their recoveries took between 12-24 months and afterwards they felt their backs were 'fixed', then suddenly... well, you can guess the rest. I would just like to say to anyone out there reading this blog and contemplating ANY form of back surgery - nothing is guaranteed - Dynesys is still a relatively "new" back procedure - things can and do go wrong, months and years even after surgery. So please go into this or any other surgery with your eyes WIDE open. I've always known that my back could change for the worse in the future (like my unlucky Dynesys friends) but I did my homework and this still remains the right solution / decision for my back right now. I have no regrets and look forward with hope to a better 'back' future.
PS. if you want to connect with other Dynesys patients, join Facebook (free membership) and become a member of the group, "Dynesis: stabilising back surgery".
A return to some sort of normality this past week has seen me - defuzzed and my hair cut & coloured (2 hours in chair / backwash was a step too far, methinks!). I tell you, I was starting to look like Russell Brand in drag!!! Also managed to get dressed up too i.e. no tracky or crocs, for my physio J's annual Christmas soiree. A few visitors through the week also raised both mine & Dr Vic's spirits no end as we have felt disconnected from the whole 'Christmas' thing this year...
Hydro was hard this week. The dreaded 'woggle twist' and 'woggle side-bends' are the worst - I know that twisting my back in various ways is a must but it is so bloody painful... On Saturday I really could 'feel' where I had worked my core and back muscles - it might hurt but at least I know it's doing some good, eh? Not back in the class until 9th January so am going to try to get down to my own gym and in the pool there a couple of times over the festive period.
No longer taking Diclofenic - woohoo!!! Re-jigged remaining painkillers to compensate when I need it, but hopefully it will now give my screws a better chance of bonding with the bone per my surgeons instructions.
The upshot of all this activity has resulted in my back hurting like ... well, the title of this post :-(
Dr Vic also took the mobility paraphernalia I have been using since the op back to the NHS stores this week. Out of all the bits Dr Vic got for me, I would recommend the raised toilet seat and perch stool for anyone having this sort of operation. They really have been a boon in helping me with showering, washing and the loo!!!
Finally able to sleep on my side - heaven :-). The full body pillow has done the trick - it's fab-u-lous!
I have been e-chatting with 3 wonderful ladies who, through no fault of their own, are now undergoing revision surgery as a result of Dynesys failure. Their cases sadden and frighten me at the same time. Their recoveries took between 12-24 months and afterwards they felt their backs were 'fixed', then suddenly... well, you can guess the rest. I would just like to say to anyone out there reading this blog and contemplating ANY form of back surgery - nothing is guaranteed - Dynesys is still a relatively "new" back procedure - things can and do go wrong, months and years even after surgery. So please go into this or any other surgery with your eyes WIDE open. I've always known that my back could change for the worse in the future (like my unlucky Dynesys friends) but I did my homework and this still remains the right solution / decision for my back right now. I have no regrets and look forward with hope to a better 'back' future.
PS. if you want to connect with other Dynesys patients, join Facebook (free membership) and become a member of the group, "Dynesis: stabilising back surgery".
Monday 15 December 2008
Bah humbug...
Hydro last Friday was challenging. Lots of side-side twisting (new movement for me) with a woggle has resulted in more pain, so I cut out my other exercises over the weekend. Had a few Xmas visitors too, which was great but it meant that I probably spent too long up and about and am paying for it big-stylie today - hey-ho! Still what can you do? You have to push yourself in order to ascertain your limitations and in order to improve, you can't just laze about all day...
Getting excited about Xmas now but as has been the case for the past few years, I actually fear the run-up to it... Now I know many people get stressed in the run up to Christmas, and many feel totally exhausted from the constant rounds of shopping, organising, cooking, partying & visiting. But spare a thought for the thousands who are doing all that in pain or with disability.
From a 'spineys' viewpoint... no matter how much you purchase online there are still some things you just have to buy in-the-flesh - you know, the plumpest turkey or those sparkly party shoes. So with trepidation we brace ourselves for the Xmas bunfight and worse, the ensuing pain! A big bah humbug to... queues, and worse, standing STILL in queues, having nowhere to sit and rest our backs, inconsiderates who huff & puff because we're walking too slowly and with a stick to boot! and bags that only have cards & wrapping paper in them yet make our backs feel like we're carrying half-hundredweight of coal. Oh, and on the subject of shoes - I don't care what Vogue say, a party outfit just doesn't look the part with ballerinas even if they are bang on-trend, sparkly & expensive... I sooo grieve my skyscraper-heels!!! And how is it we spend all year walking, exercising and moving in an attempt to stay mobile and IT WORKS. Yet mingling and dancing at a Xmas bash just leaves us laid up and in pain for days! Work that one out???
And lastly a word from the master of embarrassing moments involving booze - copious amounts of Xmas cheer and drugs don't mix, period!!! BAH HUMBUG!!!
Getting excited about Xmas now but as has been the case for the past few years, I actually fear the run-up to it... Now I know many people get stressed in the run up to Christmas, and many feel totally exhausted from the constant rounds of shopping, organising, cooking, partying & visiting. But spare a thought for the thousands who are doing all that in pain or with disability.
From a 'spineys' viewpoint... no matter how much you purchase online there are still some things you just have to buy in-the-flesh - you know, the plumpest turkey or those sparkly party shoes. So with trepidation we brace ourselves for the Xmas bunfight and worse, the ensuing pain! A big bah humbug to... queues, and worse, standing STILL in queues, having nowhere to sit and rest our backs, inconsiderates who huff & puff because we're walking too slowly and with a stick to boot! and bags that only have cards & wrapping paper in them yet make our backs feel like we're carrying half-hundredweight of coal. Oh, and on the subject of shoes - I don't care what Vogue say, a party outfit just doesn't look the part with ballerinas even if they are bang on-trend, sparkly & expensive... I sooo grieve my skyscraper-heels!!! And how is it we spend all year walking, exercising and moving in an attempt to stay mobile and IT WORKS. Yet mingling and dancing at a Xmas bash just leaves us laid up and in pain for days! Work that one out???
And lastly a word from the master of embarrassing moments involving booze - copious amounts of Xmas cheer and drugs don't mix, period!!! BAH HUMBUG!!!
Wednesday 10 December 2008
Physio, sleeping - 7 weeks and counting....
Here I am 7 weeks post-op and I finally started physio yesterday morning, woohoo! It was a hands-on session; the therapist was lovely and really put me at ease. She confirmed that I have tightness in my right leg and hip joint as well as in my upper back. She said that I had done well and that my movement, considering what I've been through, was good - chuffed, Dr Vic said I was grinning from ear to ear. She showed me some new exercises to incorporate in my daily routine, in particular 'cat-like' stretching exercises performed on my hands and knees. I felt good during the session, but boy was I in trouble last night, when the pain kicked in! Seems to have settled a bit today so I'm now gearing myself up for session no. 2 on Friday - this time it's hydrotherapy in a hot, bubbling pool!
Sleep, or lack of it, has been a problem for 4 years - getting just a few hours most nights before waking in pain or discomfort. And whilst I spend more time than most in bed, it's usually just to rest my back (especially afternoons following exercise). So it's probably no surprise that I'm always on the hunt for things that promote comfortable, pain-free sleep. Hence why we recently bought a memory-foam mattress topper. Not cheap it's true, but all I can say is that it is FAB-U-LOUS!!! Recommended to me by a couple of 'spineys', the topper moulds to your every contour, so you feel fully supported and warm... I abs. love it.
Since the op, I've only been able to sleep on my back - it's too uncomfortable to sleep any other way. So today I invested in a full body pillow. 'What is that?' you might ask? Well it's a full-length pillow that you position between your legs, under your waist arch and hug in your arms!! I've read rave reviews from 'spineys' who are using them - you can buy them everywhere in the US but they're hard to come by here in the UK. Finally got mine from The White Company (www.thewhitecompany.com). Can't wait until it's delivered...
And finally this week I have invested in a funky, folding walking stick of my very own. Whilst my aim is to walk totally unaided all the time, I have been advised to be sensible and always have something with me for when I get tired or my back aches. So whilst the NHS supplied stick has been a godsend, it is damn UGLY and makes me feel a 100 years old! Time for a new funky version more in line with the Kelster's image! Check out www.switchsticks.com and www.aidmobility.co.uk. I settled on a glossy black one with big yellow and green daffodils - folds to just 9 inches in its own quilted bag. Won't be missing me in the dark then, eh?
Sleep, or lack of it, has been a problem for 4 years - getting just a few hours most nights before waking in pain or discomfort. And whilst I spend more time than most in bed, it's usually just to rest my back (especially afternoons following exercise). So it's probably no surprise that I'm always on the hunt for things that promote comfortable, pain-free sleep. Hence why we recently bought a memory-foam mattress topper. Not cheap it's true, but all I can say is that it is FAB-U-LOUS!!! Recommended to me by a couple of 'spineys', the topper moulds to your every contour, so you feel fully supported and warm... I abs. love it.
Since the op, I've only been able to sleep on my back - it's too uncomfortable to sleep any other way. So today I invested in a full body pillow. 'What is that?' you might ask? Well it's a full-length pillow that you position between your legs, under your waist arch and hug in your arms!! I've read rave reviews from 'spineys' who are using them - you can buy them everywhere in the US but they're hard to come by here in the UK. Finally got mine from The White Company (www.thewhitecompany.com). Can't wait until it's delivered...And finally this week I have invested in a funky, folding walking stick of my very own. Whilst my aim is to walk totally unaided all the time, I have been advised to be sensible and always have something with me for when I get tired or my back aches. So whilst the NHS supplied stick has been a godsend, it is damn UGLY and makes me feel a 100 years old! Time for a new funky version more in line with the Kelster's image! Check out www.switchsticks.com and www.aidmobility.co.uk. I settled on a glossy black one with big yellow and green daffodils - folds to just 9 inches in its own quilted bag. Won't be missing me in the dark then, eh?
Thursday 4 December 2008
Just what the doctor ordered...
Tuesday was a good day at the docs!
If you take a quick peek below you will see the meccano set that is now my back - the x-rays only show the screws - the spacers (2 either side) and cord/wire are not visible on an x-ray. It was a sharp intake of breath moment, I must admit, when I saw the x-rays for the first time but funny as it sounds, it has made it more real to me, it's tangible now, less in my head!!
Good news is that my surgeon has given me the green light for physio/hydro - got the initial assessment on Tuesday - woo hoo!
They are a bit worried about the right leg still, particularly the pain in the groin and upper leg and want to do some x-rays on my hips. Their thinking is there could be something going on there - I was like, "WHAT! That's all I need..." anyway, I'm not overly concerned as I haven't had hip problems before. It's obviously in my interest to listen to the medics so we've agreed to see how I am doing when I go back for my next check-up in March, if I'm the same / worse I will have x-rays then. I must say that the all-round service I have had from the NHS / Conquest Hospital has been exemplary - they are on-the-ball, caring and accommodating - I've been dead lucky!!
I found out by pure chance on Tuesday that the anti-inflammatories I am taking can affect whether the 'new' HA coated screws bond with the bone - and mindful that screw failure has been an issue with some early Dynesys patients - I've been advised to eliminate them slowly if I can, over the next few months. So there we were, thinking we were doing the right thing by getting off the morphine first when the anti-inflamms should have been priority. Hey ho, would have helped is someone had told us that earlier. So once again, Dr Vic and I are having fun at balancing the drugs - got to be sensible though because I've been warned that physio may cause problems and extra pain.
All in all, I'm happy with progress - onward and upward I say.
PS. BIG thanks to all of you for your continued support /comments - I can't reply on the blog but believe me I read every one. Mwah xxx
If you take a quick peek below you will see the meccano set that is now my back - the x-rays only show the screws - the spacers (2 either side) and cord/wire are not visible on an x-ray. It was a sharp intake of breath moment, I must admit, when I saw the x-rays for the first time but funny as it sounds, it has made it more real to me, it's tangible now, less in my head!!
Good news is that my surgeon has given me the green light for physio/hydro - got the initial assessment on Tuesday - woo hoo!
They are a bit worried about the right leg still, particularly the pain in the groin and upper leg and want to do some x-rays on my hips. Their thinking is there could be something going on there - I was like, "WHAT! That's all I need..." anyway, I'm not overly concerned as I haven't had hip problems before. It's obviously in my interest to listen to the medics so we've agreed to see how I am doing when I go back for my next check-up in March, if I'm the same / worse I will have x-rays then. I must say that the all-round service I have had from the NHS / Conquest Hospital has been exemplary - they are on-the-ball, caring and accommodating - I've been dead lucky!!
I found out by pure chance on Tuesday that the anti-inflammatories I am taking can affect whether the 'new' HA coated screws bond with the bone - and mindful that screw failure has been an issue with some early Dynesys patients - I've been advised to eliminate them slowly if I can, over the next few months. So there we were, thinking we were doing the right thing by getting off the morphine first when the anti-inflamms should have been priority. Hey ho, would have helped is someone had told us that earlier. So once again, Dr Vic and I are having fun at balancing the drugs - got to be sensible though because I've been warned that physio may cause problems and extra pain.
All in all, I'm happy with progress - onward and upward I say.
PS. BIG thanks to all of you for your continued support /comments - I can't reply on the blog but believe me I read every one. Mwah xxx
Sunday 30 November 2008
Living & learning...
Well I'm 6 weeks tomorrow post-op (1st one) and I have to say that I am quite pleased with my progress so far. Seeing my surgeon again on Tuesday when I hope he will give me the OK to start hydrotherapy at my local hospital. So what have I been doing this past week...
Tablets & pain - well I've managed to cut out two more painkillers this week which means that I'm now taking approx. 50% the number I was when I first came home. I take the 'full monty' of painbusters (2 Tramadol, 2 Paracetamol & 1 Diclofenic) at 8am and again at 11pm and a booster at 4pm. Not so sure it has been a good idea to cut these pills as I have been getting some breakthrough pain late evening and during the night but I am going to persevere if I can. I will be sensible though and stay at this level for a couple of weeks. Coming off all these drugs is part of my roadmap... Pain in the leg is 'shutting up' slowly but I have had some weird sensations in and around the wound site - one night I felt as though the area was one giant pin-cushion - I was up for a couple of hours in the night not exactly in pain but in discomfort. I've also experienced the 'fizzing' my Pilates friend talked about - it's like rice krispies (snap,crackle & pop) under the skin! My friend says it's where the inflammation is going and the nerves are crackling back into life. Whoa!
Exercise - I have upped the amount of daily exercise now to include exercises such as sciatic nerve mobilisation (hamstrings), side-side knee rolls, lying in extension and flexion (legs) in lying - these exercises in particular help with stiffness caused by surgery, restore muscle & tissue length and reduce scarring - damaged tissues can heal up and become short and less flexible.
Anxiety - I talked about this in my last post. Things haven't improved this week I'm afraid - in fact, I have experienced a number of anxiety attacks this week with one developing into a full-blown panic attack. This is frightening for me as well as for Dr Vic who has to get me breathing properly again and calm me down. I feel like I've got a million and one things going round in my head - stupid I know, I'm going to mention this to my surgeon on Tuesday just to see if it's 'normal'. Maybe it's just that I have too much time on my hands to think...
Out and about - sadly I missed my graduation ceremony and a dear family members 70th - it was optimistic of me to even think that I could attend either event. BUT I did manage to do some christmas shopping in the Fraser sale. I was under strict intructions from Dr Vic - I had 45 minutes to shimmy (well hobble with my stick!) around and get some gifts. Felt really pleased with myself as I got loads of nice bargain stocking fillers (most of my shopping has been done on the Internet). Mind you the exertion combined with all the drugs made me sweat profusely, so much so that one assistant actually asked me if it was raining outside. My goodness, I looked like a drowned rat but boy DID I enjoy myself!!!!
So for both of us, this week has seen a small return to something resembling normality... I know I still have a mountain to climb but it was wonderful to enjoy the moment and see a huge smile on Dr Vic's face again, he's been so worried about me...
Tablets & pain - well I've managed to cut out two more painkillers this week which means that I'm now taking approx. 50% the number I was when I first came home. I take the 'full monty' of painbusters (2 Tramadol, 2 Paracetamol & 1 Diclofenic) at 8am and again at 11pm and a booster at 4pm. Not so sure it has been a good idea to cut these pills as I have been getting some breakthrough pain late evening and during the night but I am going to persevere if I can. I will be sensible though and stay at this level for a couple of weeks. Coming off all these drugs is part of my roadmap... Pain in the leg is 'shutting up' slowly but I have had some weird sensations in and around the wound site - one night I felt as though the area was one giant pin-cushion - I was up for a couple of hours in the night not exactly in pain but in discomfort. I've also experienced the 'fizzing' my Pilates friend talked about - it's like rice krispies (snap,crackle & pop) under the skin! My friend says it's where the inflammation is going and the nerves are crackling back into life. Whoa!
Exercise - I have upped the amount of daily exercise now to include exercises such as sciatic nerve mobilisation (hamstrings), side-side knee rolls, lying in extension and flexion (legs) in lying - these exercises in particular help with stiffness caused by surgery, restore muscle & tissue length and reduce scarring - damaged tissues can heal up and become short and less flexible.
Anxiety - I talked about this in my last post. Things haven't improved this week I'm afraid - in fact, I have experienced a number of anxiety attacks this week with one developing into a full-blown panic attack. This is frightening for me as well as for Dr Vic who has to get me breathing properly again and calm me down. I feel like I've got a million and one things going round in my head - stupid I know, I'm going to mention this to my surgeon on Tuesday just to see if it's 'normal'. Maybe it's just that I have too much time on my hands to think...
Out and about - sadly I missed my graduation ceremony and a dear family members 70th - it was optimistic of me to even think that I could attend either event. BUT I did manage to do some christmas shopping in the Fraser sale. I was under strict intructions from Dr Vic - I had 45 minutes to shimmy (well hobble with my stick!) around and get some gifts. Felt really pleased with myself as I got loads of nice bargain stocking fillers (most of my shopping has been done on the Internet). Mind you the exertion combined with all the drugs made me sweat profusely, so much so that one assistant actually asked me if it was raining outside. My goodness, I looked like a drowned rat but boy DID I enjoy myself!!!!
So for both of us, this week has seen a small return to something resembling normality... I know I still have a mountain to climb but it was wonderful to enjoy the moment and see a huge smile on Dr Vic's face again, he's been so worried about me...
Sunday 23 November 2008
5 weeks on.... overwhelming feelings
This past week has been OK - still experiencing various problems with my right leg and still on 16 tablets a day BUT I am improving! I know if I sit for too long that I will experience lots of pain in the right leg above the knee and if I walk too much, then it will play me up below the knee... The top of the leg has been hurting me now for 2 days but I'm hoping that some exercise a bit later tonight will 'free' up the nerve(s) that are acting up. Biggest problem still is constipation caused by the morphine & codeine based pills - Dr Vic's expectant face followed by "Anything?" every time I leave the loo just makes me laugh out loud - bless him!
Funny thing started to happen to me this week - and it may be because I can now concentrate on other stuff - and that has been the wave of feelings, good and bad, that have come over me. On the odd occasion that I've been out in the car I've been worried that Dr Vic is going to drive into the back of someone or someone is going to crash into us and jolt my back. I'm worried with the winter coming about falling over. Worried to wear any other shoes than the bright green Crocs that have been a feature of my feet for the past 5 weeks - they're non-slip, light, shock-absorbent and SAFE! I'm panicking about travelling by plane again! I'm not normally an anxious person but I seem to be worried about lots of stuff now.
I've also been feeling a lot of anger and sadness about the last 5 years. Anger about the many times I've had to justify to non-believers that I had a back problem or was in pain. If I had a pound for every time someone said I didn't look like someone with a bad back or walk like a typical back sufferer then I would be a rich person. We don't all walk around doubled over in sack-cloth and ashes ringing a bell, "unclean, unclean, oh woe is me"!! Some of us just get on with it... The sadness I feel is for my "old life" - my career, London, social life, skiing, gym, having a good drink! Most of all, spontaneity - the freedom to do anything without really thinking about it too much. I have lost count of the number of holidays and social engagements that I have had to cancel or miss. Sadness that whilst I thankfully have some very loyal and caring friends, others have fallen by the wayside. Why? For some it was distance, others unreliability (mine) and for others I guess they identified with the "old Kelly" - the 'game-on girlie' who was up for pretty much anything - they wanted that girl back! She's gone, went a long time ago... I'm still the same person inside but I have to live my life differently now. Out of necessity, enforcement even, I have a different focus. And whilst I may have a disability, I've still got a life, and a bloody good one at that! it might have taken me a damn long time to accept and get used to that idea (and I did have quite prolonged bouts of depression along the way) but you know what, I like my life now. I've come to accept the new me but who knows what the next 12 months will bring? A NEW new me maybe???? Bring it on, I'm ready...
Funny thing started to happen to me this week - and it may be because I can now concentrate on other stuff - and that has been the wave of feelings, good and bad, that have come over me. On the odd occasion that I've been out in the car I've been worried that Dr Vic is going to drive into the back of someone or someone is going to crash into us and jolt my back. I'm worried with the winter coming about falling over. Worried to wear any other shoes than the bright green Crocs that have been a feature of my feet for the past 5 weeks - they're non-slip, light, shock-absorbent and SAFE! I'm panicking about travelling by plane again! I'm not normally an anxious person but I seem to be worried about lots of stuff now.
I've also been feeling a lot of anger and sadness about the last 5 years. Anger about the many times I've had to justify to non-believers that I had a back problem or was in pain. If I had a pound for every time someone said I didn't look like someone with a bad back or walk like a typical back sufferer then I would be a rich person. We don't all walk around doubled over in sack-cloth and ashes ringing a bell, "unclean, unclean, oh woe is me"!! Some of us just get on with it... The sadness I feel is for my "old life" - my career, London, social life, skiing, gym, having a good drink! Most of all, spontaneity - the freedom to do anything without really thinking about it too much. I have lost count of the number of holidays and social engagements that I have had to cancel or miss. Sadness that whilst I thankfully have some very loyal and caring friends, others have fallen by the wayside. Why? For some it was distance, others unreliability (mine) and for others I guess they identified with the "old Kelly" - the 'game-on girlie' who was up for pretty much anything - they wanted that girl back! She's gone, went a long time ago... I'm still the same person inside but I have to live my life differently now. Out of necessity, enforcement even, I have a different focus. And whilst I may have a disability, I've still got a life, and a bloody good one at that! it might have taken me a damn long time to accept and get used to that idea (and I did have quite prolonged bouts of depression along the way) but you know what, I like my life now. I've come to accept the new me but who knows what the next 12 months will bring? A NEW new me maybe???? Bring it on, I'm ready...
Wednesday 19 November 2008
Meet the "Doctor"
A couple of Kelly's oldest and dearest friends sent us something that really made us laugh. Thanks guys!
I think it's time for you all to ..."meet the Doctor".
I think it's time for you all to ..."meet the Doctor".
Monday 17 November 2008
One month on...
Hi guys, Dr. Vic signing on. Here's what's been happening these past few days...
Drugs: Kelly has significantly reduced the number of drugs she is taking from 5 sessions a day down to 3. Mind you, it hasn't always been successful and I've had a couple of "give me some drugs NOW!" Still cause for concern - constipation - but nothing a large dose of prunes, fruit juice and more drugs can't sort out.
Exercise: Kelly is doing well here - she says that her back feels supported and strong. I guess her previous years of Pilates have really paid off and as I mentioned in an earlier blog, she believes that Pilates or some other form of core-based exercise should be a pre-requisite to this type of operation.
Days out: We ventured out a couple of times this past week, the first was a short car ride followed by a stroll in the wheelchair. What a disaster! The pain Kelly endured afterwards was very bad, she couldn't have spent more than 20 minutes in the chair, so sitting for any period of time is still out of the question. It certainly set her back at least 2 days. We tried again yesterday, this time with the stick and without the chair - same amount of time and it was OK. We've decided to put this into our routine, a short walk to clear the cobwebs perhaps every other day, until we see Kelly's surgeon early December who hopefully will give her the OK to start hydrotherapy and other physio.
Passing the time: How do you pass 16 hours a day in bed? Highlights include having a shower with Dr. Vic assisting :-) "oo-eer missus", reading 2 newspapers, Nintendo DS/Brain Training (I'm hooked too, so we're challenging each other every night), quick lunch/dinner downstairs, exercises and sleep.
Millie (the dawg): Our wild and crazy little madam, but you know what, she has engaged well with Kelly's situation. Funny isn't it how pets have a sixth sense - she seems to understand that she mustn't jump up and that Kelly cannot bend down to stroke her. Somehow she's worked her way onto the bed so that she can be near to Kelly and stroked.
Dear mum,
Hope you are feeling better,
love Millie, ruff ruff xxx
Drugs: Kelly has significantly reduced the number of drugs she is taking from 5 sessions a day down to 3. Mind you, it hasn't always been successful and I've had a couple of "give me some drugs NOW!" Still cause for concern - constipation - but nothing a large dose of prunes, fruit juice and more drugs can't sort out.
Exercise: Kelly is doing well here - she says that her back feels supported and strong. I guess her previous years of Pilates have really paid off and as I mentioned in an earlier blog, she believes that Pilates or some other form of core-based exercise should be a pre-requisite to this type of operation.
Days out: We ventured out a couple of times this past week, the first was a short car ride followed by a stroll in the wheelchair. What a disaster! The pain Kelly endured afterwards was very bad, she couldn't have spent more than 20 minutes in the chair, so sitting for any period of time is still out of the question. It certainly set her back at least 2 days. We tried again yesterday, this time with the stick and without the chair - same amount of time and it was OK. We've decided to put this into our routine, a short walk to clear the cobwebs perhaps every other day, until we see Kelly's surgeon early December who hopefully will give her the OK to start hydrotherapy and other physio.
Passing the time: How do you pass 16 hours a day in bed? Highlights include having a shower with Dr. Vic assisting :-) "oo-eer missus", reading 2 newspapers, Nintendo DS/Brain Training (I'm hooked too, so we're challenging each other every night), quick lunch/dinner downstairs, exercises and sleep.
Millie (the dawg): Our wild and crazy little madam, but you know what, she has engaged well with Kelly's situation. Funny isn't it how pets have a sixth sense - she seems to understand that she mustn't jump up and that Kelly cannot bend down to stroke her. Somehow she's worked her way onto the bed so that she can be near to Kelly and stroked.
Dear mum,
Hope you are feeling better,
love Millie, ruff ruff xxx
Wednesday 12 November 2008
What a difference a week makes...
Well, I cannot believe the change from last week. Sure, I'm still in pain but the past couple of days has seen the pain no higher than 6 and I've managed to 'lose' some tablets at 4am and 2pm (5 tablets in all). This in itself is good news plus it might mean that I can cut out the other tablets I'm taking for severe constipation!!!
I'm showing a marked improvement in back and core capability - I can see / feel it when I do the prescribed exercises and moving around. Hamstring length is improving, although I've got some funny niggles in my right groin tonight which I'm not happy about, so perhaps I've overdone that one. I've been told that I should try to start putting my back into extension - I've always struggled with this, particularly when lying face down, but over the years I have built up resistance. But I am now back to square one - I could only do it for about 4 seconds x 3 yesterday - I don't like how it makes my back feel, I'm a little bit scared of pushing it too far.
Still can only sleep on my back with a pillow under my knees - have tried lying on my side, whilst it doesn't hurt as such, it is v. uncomfortable plus (and I know this might be psychological) it makes me feel sick because I think I can feel the Dynesys in my back! As for 'jiggy-jiggy' - don't even go there - my Pilates Back Book has some wonderful positions in it, yeh, right!!
Still need help with showering particularly back, legs, feet and hair. Hair washing and drying is a real challenge, v.tiring - looking a bit like the wild man of Borneo at the mo'.
Scar is healing nicely - District Nurse recommended Aqueous Cream to heal and lubricate it. It's a wonder cream as it is also curing my scaly, dry back and legs (I guess from laying in bed a lot) and the hard skin on my heels. AND as a bonus it is so cheap - £1.99 for a huge tub from the local chemist. No longer will I salivate over the Molten Brown counter in JL - I'm a convert.
The experts have told me that 3 things are of the utmost importance to safeguard long-term relief from pain and the integrity of the Dynesys hardware:-
I'm showing a marked improvement in back and core capability - I can see / feel it when I do the prescribed exercises and moving around. Hamstring length is improving, although I've got some funny niggles in my right groin tonight which I'm not happy about, so perhaps I've overdone that one. I've been told that I should try to start putting my back into extension - I've always struggled with this, particularly when lying face down, but over the years I have built up resistance. But I am now back to square one - I could only do it for about 4 seconds x 3 yesterday - I don't like how it makes my back feel, I'm a little bit scared of pushing it too far.
Still can only sleep on my back with a pillow under my knees - have tried lying on my side, whilst it doesn't hurt as such, it is v. uncomfortable plus (and I know this might be psychological) it makes me feel sick because I think I can feel the Dynesys in my back! As for 'jiggy-jiggy' - don't even go there - my Pilates Back Book has some wonderful positions in it, yeh, right!!
Still need help with showering particularly back, legs, feet and hair. Hair washing and drying is a real challenge, v.tiring - looking a bit like the wild man of Borneo at the mo'.
Scar is healing nicely - District Nurse recommended Aqueous Cream to heal and lubricate it. It's a wonder cream as it is also curing my scaly, dry back and legs (I guess from laying in bed a lot) and the hard skin on my heels. AND as a bonus it is so cheap - £1.99 for a huge tub from the local chemist. No longer will I salivate over the Molten Brown counter in JL - I'm a convert.
The experts have told me that 3 things are of the utmost importance to safeguard long-term relief from pain and the integrity of the Dynesys hardware:-
- respect my back and the hardware in it and don't do anything silly - if I've got to think about it, I shouldn't do it
- exercise (pilates / swimming) every day for the rest of my life
- maintain a healthy body weight and BMI
No problem with 1) and 2) - been doing them for 4+ years. But as some of you know, I'm a bit chunky (as my surgeon said post op.2!!! tee hee... ) so 3) will be a challenge. It's been hard controlling my weight these last years when I have been unable to do any 'proper' cardio - runner, x-trainer, bike - but it can no longer be an excuse. I am determined and as such have already lost 8lb since the operation (I have no appetite at the mo' though). I'm in this for the long haul and I am determined that NOTHING I can control will put me back in daily pain or the operating theatre - I've made this promise to myself and to Dr. Vic - that much at least I owe him after all he's had to put up with these past 4+ years...
Lastly, Mom and Dad (in-laws) in Canada have bought be a Nintendo DS to wile away the hours in bed. Big sloppy kiss, mwah! It's great fun - but I am a bit worried that I'm going ga-ga - so far my brain age has been 80, 65, 58 and 57. Even worse Dr. Vic is beating me - his best score is 35, I'll never live that one down.
My friends who have had major ops have told me I may experience some 'fizzing' in my body as the inflammation subsides and my nerves kick back into action. Also to watch out for post op / anaesthetic low moods. Flak jacket and helmet on, I'm ready... x
Sunday 9 November 2008
Settling down...
Hello troops, well it looks like things are starting to settle down with Kelly - it is still a roller-coaster with regards to pain, but overall it's manageable. Kelly is still reliant on the maximum amount of drugs per day and spends the majority of time in bed BUT it does seem to be working.
This being the case, so as not to bore the pants off you all, we will only post to the blog as and when there is something worthy to report regarding Kelly's recovery or other useful information we can provide.
Kelly is still keen to keep her blog going for the benefit of current / future Dynesys patients and back sufferers, so you guys, do keep checking in.
Again, thanks for your overwhelming support these last weeks, Kelly and I cannot thank you enough.
Ta ta for now. Dr Vic
This being the case, so as not to bore the pants off you all, we will only post to the blog as and when there is something worthy to report regarding Kelly's recovery or other useful information we can provide.
Kelly is still keen to keep her blog going for the benefit of current / future Dynesys patients and back sufferers, so you guys, do keep checking in.
Again, thanks for your overwhelming support these last weeks, Kelly and I cannot thank you enough.
Ta ta for now. Dr Vic
Friday 7 November 2008
Thursday 6 November 2008
Pain Management
Hi troops Dr. Vic here again, I'm afraid you are going to have me for a while yet, following yesterday's note from Kel even her short visit to this pc did not do her any favours, I guess when the surgeon said she has to rest he means it!
I had omitted a point the other night on the reason why Kel's pain in the leg is on the up rather than down, basically the drugs that were injected directly into her spine during the 2nd op. are now wearing off - things are going to get worse before they get better.
On the subject of pain, Kelly has had to learn to live with it not just these past weeks but since Oct 03. To say I have struggled to understand her methodology on pain management is an understatement. Let me explain... when Kel is in pain I would try to change the subject to a more pleasant matter to take her mind off it but I would get shot down in flames and told to keep quiet!!! I could offer 1 hours free shopping at Tiffanys and she would still ignore me - the reason being, she says, is that she needs all her energy to focus on the pain and whilst it doesn't necessarily ease it, it helps her to manage it - she CANNOT concentrate on ANYTHING else. So when people say Kel is a "tough cookie", I agree - she has a high threshold to pain that has been nurtured over the years. I call it an "East End" thing, they just get on with it.
This works for Kel, but everyone is different. Who knows how we would cope, hopefully we won't have to find out.
I had omitted a point the other night on the reason why Kel's pain in the leg is on the up rather than down, basically the drugs that were injected directly into her spine during the 2nd op. are now wearing off - things are going to get worse before they get better.
On the subject of pain, Kelly has had to learn to live with it not just these past weeks but since Oct 03. To say I have struggled to understand her methodology on pain management is an understatement. Let me explain... when Kel is in pain I would try to change the subject to a more pleasant matter to take her mind off it but I would get shot down in flames and told to keep quiet!!! I could offer 1 hours free shopping at Tiffanys and she would still ignore me - the reason being, she says, is that she needs all her energy to focus on the pain and whilst it doesn't necessarily ease it, it helps her to manage it - she CANNOT concentrate on ANYTHING else. So when people say Kel is a "tough cookie", I agree - she has a high threshold to pain that has been nurtured over the years. I call it an "East End" thing, they just get on with it.
This works for Kel, but everyone is different. Who knows how we would cope, hopefully we won't have to find out.
Wednesday 5 November 2008
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Hi guys, at long last I am able to sit at the computer long enough to write you all a short note. Dr. Vic has been doing a blinding job of my blog these past two weeks as he has done in looking after me (and that's been no picnic, believe me!). He truly is one of the good guys and I am ever thankful that we found one another... as I am thankful to you all, my wonderful family and friends.
What can I say, other than I have been totally overwhelmed by your kindness and caring. The fact that you are taking the time to read and respond to my blog is more than I dreamed would happen when I started it. Believe me, it has lifted my spirits no end to hear your comments and read your lovely cards - your wit, humour, compassion and advice has buoyed me, made me laugh out loud, cry even. I look forward to my next visits with my dear family and friends in Canada and Malta - we always have fun whenever we visit but next time I WILL be kicking those pins of mine up and dancing round the vineyards... batten down the hatches!!!! I would also like to say hello to my 'new' friends - those of you who have been in contact either because someone else forwarded my blog to you or because you have had or are about to have Dynesys - it was always my intention to offer a point of reference/view to others in my position, I'm glad to hear the blog is of help to some of you.
Enough of the mushy stuff now.... Thanks again and do keep the comments coming.
Love to you all. Kelly xxx
What can I say, other than I have been totally overwhelmed by your kindness and caring. The fact that you are taking the time to read and respond to my blog is more than I dreamed would happen when I started it. Believe me, it has lifted my spirits no end to hear your comments and read your lovely cards - your wit, humour, compassion and advice has buoyed me, made me laugh out loud, cry even. I look forward to my next visits with my dear family and friends in Canada and Malta - we always have fun whenever we visit but next time I WILL be kicking those pins of mine up and dancing round the vineyards... batten down the hatches!!!! I would also like to say hello to my 'new' friends - those of you who have been in contact either because someone else forwarded my blog to you or because you have had or are about to have Dynesys - it was always my intention to offer a point of reference/view to others in my position, I'm glad to hear the blog is of help to some of you.
Enough of the mushy stuff now.... Thanks again and do keep the comments coming.
Love to you all. Kelly xxx
Tuesday 4 November 2008
Putting our minds at rest
Dr Vic here... been to see the surgeon today, here's the results : 
- Pain in the right lower leg did not give Mr Shepperd (surgeon) any concerns - it appears it is to be expected given the haematoma complications / 2nd operation. In his words the pain will ... "SHUT UP" in time.
- On-going recovery - Kelly has been told to be very patient and to "take it easy" for another 4 weeks. The surgeon explained that Kelly's recovery will be an extended one due to the 2 operations and the fact that the back muscles have been stretched twice and the lumbar nerves have been traumatised by the blood clots. Plenty of rest is what the doctor ordered and this means NO hydrotherapy or increase in exercises, short walks only (on the flat) and plenty of bed rest. And... keep taking the drugs.
- Stitches removed, wound is clean but not completely dry - Kelly can shower at last!!
Apparently this visit was brought forward because the surgeon wanted to check on Kelly's progress a bit earlier than usual. We're glad to be under Mr Shepperd - he really seems to care and listen, which is important if you are to have faith in someone who is going to 'mess with your bod' (as Kelly says)!
Overall we're 'happy' with the outcome of today - Kelly knows she's got a long way to go yet and that she is likely to be in pain for some time BUT she's OK with it. She just needed to hear someone say that what she is going through is the 'norm' and it appears it is given the complications. And that together with the fact that we're back to see the surgeon again in 4 weeks time, is comforting.
Monday 3 November 2008
Cause for Concern
We had a bit of a set back this weekend which has given us cause for concern.
- Kelly's wound has been dry since she's been home but we noticed some bleeding on the dressing yesterday - called the district nurse out this morning and she changed the dressing. The wound is weeping and there is some swelling but no infection. This unfortunately will have a knock-on effect in that she won't be able to have her stitches removed tomorrow when we see the surgeon. Plus she won't be able to get into the pool to start her hydro, which she is so desperately wanting to do.
- The pain in the right leg is not going.... yes we've had a couple of good days where pain hit a low of 4 but last night and today it's gone back up to 9!
Saturday 1 November 2008
1st week at home
A week at home now and the biggest challenge has been getting the balance of drugs-pain ratio right. I have been keeping a log (and this exercise is proving very helpful):-
- time of day drugs taken
- what drugs and quantities
- Kelly's pain level at the time
The objective of this is two-fold: 1. to ensure I don't overdose Kelly on the amount of drugs and 2. to see if there is any pattern emerging as to time of day, pain level and drug taken. Just a tip for those of you recovering or soon to undergo surgery - everyday paracetamol, which can be bought over the counter, when taken with Tramadol or Diclafenec for example, increases the effectiveness/power of the drug significantly - it can also create an effective 'bridge' when you are in pain but have hours to go before the next lots of meds. This has been deemed perfectly OK for Kelly but PLEASE do check with your own medics that it's OK for you before trying it.
Final note on the drugs, there was one day when Kelly elected to skip some drugs... big mistake -it was far too premature - she now realises that the amount of drugs prescribed are needed (especially this soon after the op). I'm sure in time there will be significant reductions but for the time being, we will keep to a strict schedule, it seems to be working.
On a pain scale of 1-10 we had one day only as low as 4, we've hit a few 9s, but on the whole it's been 6,7,8s. It's still early days and we are not out of the shits yet but we are beginning to see a pattern developing. We are due to see the surgeon on the 4th November and I hope by then we could share with him the results of Kelly's progress / pain since the operation, and what drugs have been taken and when.
Kelly has been told by her surgeon that she will be monitored for months and years to come. I guess what with this being a relatively new procedure (under 10 years, 75% success rate) they are very keen to get as much information about the success / outcomes of the procedure so that they can improve it for others in the future. I guess in a way Kelly is one of many medical 'guinea pigs' ! She has always said that someone has to do it and believe me this operation wasn't entered into lightly!
Kelly has already built up a routine of movement / exercises - she is limited to about 50 minutes a day - and this includes stairs, visits to the loo and washing - so when all that is taken out it doesn't leave much time - Kelly feels she could do more, but she mustn't and has had Dr. Vic tell her off on more than one occasion this week.
Well it's Saturday night, time to call it a day and chill. Dr Vic.
P.s Kelly sends her love to all.
Friday 31 October 2008
Happy Halloween
Not much to report today but Kelly and I would like to wish all you bloggers,
"Happy Halloween"
Thursday 30 October 2008
Progress...
Hi folks, still Dr. Vic here.
Kelly's had a better day today, a few less tablets through the night but that did result in more pain this morning (she wont be doing that again in a hurry, not a good move!)
The side effects of the pills are taking their toll - mainly with loss of appetite, drowsiness and worst of all, severe constipation. Dr. Vic is on the case and has been to see his doctor colleagues at our local GP and now Kelly has got more pills to take - this brings the total pills per day to 21 and that doesn't include the ones for all the other ailments she has. They say "it's for better or for worse" ....when does the better bit kick in??? :-) only kidding.
Kelly had a visit from her physio today, which cheered her up. She reassured Kelly about the pain in her leg and as always talked common sense, that is "Take it slow & listen to your body" they also discussed (once Kelly's surgeon gives her the green light to do so) the route to recovery which will commence with hydrotherapy, something Kelly is no stranger to, but it will mean going back to basics, for example just walking up and down in the pool.
Dad popped over today, which was nice gave me a chance to catch up on a number of things I had to do, like shopping, laundry, pick up more drugs, cooking, cleaning, and most of all play my drums, its all worth it and I know if the boot was on the other foot Kel would do the same for me.
That's all for now, Dr. Vic.
Kelly's had a better day today, a few less tablets through the night but that did result in more pain this morning (she wont be doing that again in a hurry, not a good move!)
The side effects of the pills are taking their toll - mainly with loss of appetite, drowsiness and worst of all, severe constipation. Dr. Vic is on the case and has been to see his doctor colleagues at our local GP and now Kelly has got more pills to take - this brings the total pills per day to 21 and that doesn't include the ones for all the other ailments she has. They say "it's for better or for worse" ....when does the better bit kick in??? :-) only kidding.
Kelly had a visit from her physio today, which cheered her up. She reassured Kelly about the pain in her leg and as always talked common sense, that is "Take it slow & listen to your body" they also discussed (once Kelly's surgeon gives her the green light to do so) the route to recovery which will commence with hydrotherapy, something Kelly is no stranger to, but it will mean going back to basics, for example just walking up and down in the pool.
Dad popped over today, which was nice gave me a chance to catch up on a number of things I had to do, like shopping, laundry, pick up more drugs, cooking, cleaning, and most of all play my drums, its all worth it and I know if the boot was on the other foot Kel would do the same for me.
That's all for now, Dr. Vic.
Wednesday 29 October 2008
5 days post op 2
Dr. Vic here... Kelly has taken a bit of a turn today, quite bad pain in her right leg - she says herself it's her own fault because yesterday she overdid it with exercise and sitting too long (20 mins). Kelly fully understands what she needs to do in order to get mobile (because she's done it before) but this time it is different because the new hardware in her back is an unknown and needs to be respected.
Kelly is worried whether there is any long term damage to the nerves in the right leg because whilst it doesn't seem to be getting any worse it's not really getting any better. Following such a major problem last week Dr. Vic believes the nerves are still badly inflamed and raw, they need time to mend. After all, its early days yet (just 5 days since the last op).
Apart from pain in the right leg there is no wound pain and there doesn't appear to be any back or left leg pain (but I don't want to speak too soon). Despite the complications and ongoing pain Kelly is still really pleased with the operation because she feels her spine is more stable and supported than it has been for years and that in itself is a "WIN"
Kelly is worried whether there is any long term damage to the nerves in the right leg because whilst it doesn't seem to be getting any worse it's not really getting any better. Following such a major problem last week Dr. Vic believes the nerves are still badly inflamed and raw, they need time to mend. After all, its early days yet (just 5 days since the last op).
Apart from pain in the right leg there is no wound pain and there doesn't appear to be any back or left leg pain (but I don't want to speak too soon). Despite the complications and ongoing pain Kelly is still really pleased with the operation because she feels her spine is more stable and supported than it has been for years and that in itself is a "WIN"
Monday 27 October 2008
Road to Recovery
Hello all and my apologies for the radio silence since Saturday, lot going on and when I tried to sit down and write, I was just too exhausted. This is still Dr. Vic, although Kelly is doing better she is well drugged up, so not very with it yet, but I promise you will hear words from her soon.
The drugs... well that has been the biggest challenge, in the absence of oramorph or any direct injections of morphine I have had to do the juggling act of a fixed amount of various drugs per 24 hours and try to keep Kel out of pain, we had a few sticky moments I may add, but now settling down.
District nurse was over today to change her dressing, she commented on how neat the cut is and the scar when healed should be minimal, so that's a good thing.
I have been out to the good old NHS stores to pickup a few (disable) items like raised toilet seat, back rest for the bed, perched stool for washing, basically trying to make it as comfortable as possible for Kelly.
Washing : She is not able to shower or get her wound wet for at least two weeks, so that's means hand wash by yours truly....hmmm that's the fun bit.
Exercise : consists of
The drugs... well that has been the biggest challenge, in the absence of oramorph or any direct injections of morphine I have had to do the juggling act of a fixed amount of various drugs per 24 hours and try to keep Kel out of pain, we had a few sticky moments I may add, but now settling down.
District nurse was over today to change her dressing, she commented on how neat the cut is and the scar when healed should be minimal, so that's a good thing.
I have been out to the good old NHS stores to pickup a few (disable) items like raised toilet seat, back rest for the bed, perched stool for washing, basically trying to make it as comfortable as possible for Kelly.
Washing : She is not able to shower or get her wound wet for at least two weeks, so that's means hand wash by yours truly....hmmm that's the fun bit.
Exercise : consists of
- mild Pilate's, all done in bed,
- 1 flight of stairs each day
- sitting upright in a chair - for only short periods
Eating : hasn't had much of an appetite in fact ate almost nothing last week, mind you my bacon sandwich for breakfast yesterday was well received.
Sleeping : pain doesn't seem to take a break during the night, so little sleep for both of us
Kelly has been touched by your warm well wishes, they brought tears to her eyes and she says thank you to you all.
That's all from Dr Vic for now.
Saturday 25 October 2008
Coming Home!
Just spoke to the nurse and Kelly, a better night sleep, still some pain but not as bad, so I'm off shortly with a view of bringing Kelly home.
Hopefully the next words you read will be from Kelly, (dictated to myself) - It may be a while before she could sit comfortably at the PC, so I will continue to be her pa, nurse, and most of all...LOVING HUBBY.
Hopefully the next words you read will be from Kelly, (dictated to myself) - It may be a while before she could sit comfortably at the PC, so I will continue to be her pa, nurse, and most of all...LOVING HUBBY.
Friday 24 October 2008
I think we are almost there!
Following Kelly's' call earlier this morning, all I could say or feel was nothing but absolute "HORROR" she has been so brave throughout this week, a second op in 3 days and the problem was back, we were both speechless, and just broke down in tears, and I wasn't there to give her a hug.
However! better news to follow, the pain in her leg is back but nothing like the previous level of pain, and more importantly she got through the night on less drugs. This pain we have been told is a classic symptom for this operation and should ease in the next 24hours, on that note they have decided to keep Kelly in and extra day for observation, can I ask you all for your prayers that this time, this will be the case?
I brought Kelly's Dad down to see her today, he has been great this week looking after Millie and minding the house, that is of course when he sat still long enough, always looking for something to do, of course there were a few football matches on this week so he didn't mind. Tony as any father would be, has been very worried, but after spending the afternoon with Kelly he feels a lot more confident that she has made the right decision, and things can only go forward from here on.
Kelly was actually awake all afternoon, the first time this week, I guess the reduced drugs had something to do with it, apart from the leg pain she also has a couple bruises to her legs, we have NO idea how they happened, but that's the least of our worries.
I just had a call from Kelly, she is feeling rather down at the moment, this week has been a whirlwind for her, with the complications, and set backs she has had she hasn't had any time to think about it, (which in a way is a good thing), but now that her ward is empty (all those who had ops earlier in the week have gone home) she has had time to think about it and you can appreciate she is feeling isolated, depressed and challenging her decision, I have made it absolutely crystal clear to her, that her decision was the right one, she has my total support and that Dr. Vic will be there over the coming weeks of her recovery, 24/7 to look after her, (I'm even thinking of getting her a bell,) I look forward to the day when Kelly can get back on that dance floor again, we all know how much she loves to dance, hopefully with some of you who are reading this blog.
Kelly has a very high threshold level for pain, she told me before this all started ..." if I tell you it hurts it must really hurt" when she told me the pain was "unbelievable" well I couldn't imagine what she must have been going through, but I could see the pain and fear on her face.
I apologise if I've gone on a bit this evening, but its been a long and difficult week and when you see the one you love in pain and you can't do anymore but just be there, it really hurts.
Right I've said enough now and must end this blog, the plan is, if all goes well tonight, I will be able to bring Kelly home tomorrow.
Finally on behalf of Kelly and myself I want to thank you for all your well wishes, prayers, and blog comments, collectively you have given Kelly that additional strength she desperately needed this week.
THANK YOU!!! and God bless.
However! better news to follow, the pain in her leg is back but nothing like the previous level of pain, and more importantly she got through the night on less drugs. This pain we have been told is a classic symptom for this operation and should ease in the next 24hours, on that note they have decided to keep Kelly in and extra day for observation, can I ask you all for your prayers that this time, this will be the case?
I brought Kelly's Dad down to see her today, he has been great this week looking after Millie and minding the house, that is of course when he sat still long enough, always looking for something to do, of course there were a few football matches on this week so he didn't mind. Tony as any father would be, has been very worried, but after spending the afternoon with Kelly he feels a lot more confident that she has made the right decision, and things can only go forward from here on.
Kelly was actually awake all afternoon, the first time this week, I guess the reduced drugs had something to do with it, apart from the leg pain she also has a couple bruises to her legs, we have NO idea how they happened, but that's the least of our worries.
I just had a call from Kelly, she is feeling rather down at the moment, this week has been a whirlwind for her, with the complications, and set backs she has had she hasn't had any time to think about it, (which in a way is a good thing), but now that her ward is empty (all those who had ops earlier in the week have gone home) she has had time to think about it and you can appreciate she is feeling isolated, depressed and challenging her decision, I have made it absolutely crystal clear to her, that her decision was the right one, she has my total support and that Dr. Vic will be there over the coming weeks of her recovery, 24/7 to look after her, (I'm even thinking of getting her a bell,) I look forward to the day when Kelly can get back on that dance floor again, we all know how much she loves to dance, hopefully with some of you who are reading this blog.
Kelly has a very high threshold level for pain, she told me before this all started ..." if I tell you it hurts it must really hurt" when she told me the pain was "unbelievable" well I couldn't imagine what she must have been going through, but I could see the pain and fear on her face.
I apologise if I've gone on a bit this evening, but its been a long and difficult week and when you see the one you love in pain and you can't do anymore but just be there, it really hurts.
Right I've said enough now and must end this blog, the plan is, if all goes well tonight, I will be able to bring Kelly home tomorrow.
Finally on behalf of Kelly and myself I want to thank you for all your well wishes, prayers, and blog comments, collectively you have given Kelly that additional strength she desperately needed this week.
THANK YOU!!! and God bless.
Thursday 23 October 2008
2nd Operation
Well what was suppose to be just a minor re opening of the wound and a "wash out" of a hemotoma resulted in a 1 1/2 hour operation, they found 2 blood cots, a bleeding nerve and they also removed one of the screws and repositioned it, on closing they injected the area in her back with a cocktail of drugs to include, steroids, ant-inflammatorys, morphine, etc.
The Result...Kelly's pain on return on a scale of 1-3 , was 3 but the pain in her leg was gone. She was told she had to try and sit up within 2 hours, well not only did I get Kelly up during that time but she also managed to get out of the bed and take a few steps, with a "Pain Free" leg, just call me mean Dr. Vic.
It has been some 10 hours since the op and from my last conversation with Kelly (1 hour ago) the pain in her leg has NOT come back, let's hope this is still the case in the morning.
Kelly has had very little sleep this week, hopefully tonight she will get her first restful one and soon be able to return home to her Hubby, who misses her dearly, and "Millie" our Staffy!
Special note of thanks for your comments, please keep them coming
The Result...Kelly's pain on return on a scale of 1-3 , was 3 but the pain in her leg was gone. She was told she had to try and sit up within 2 hours, well not only did I get Kelly up during that time but she also managed to get out of the bed and take a few steps, with a "Pain Free" leg, just call me mean Dr. Vic.
It has been some 10 hours since the op and from my last conversation with Kelly (1 hour ago) the pain in her leg has NOT come back, let's hope this is still the case in the morning.
Kelly has had very little sleep this week, hopefully tonight she will get her first restful one and soon be able to return home to her Hubby, who misses her dearly, and "Millie" our Staffy!
Special note of thanks for your comments, please keep them coming
Wednesday 22 October 2008
Complications
Unfortunately the pain in Kelly's leg has not eased up at all in fact has got worse, medication not touching it.
Surgeon was in this morning and has decided further surgery required, possible blood cot which may be inflamed and causing pressure on the spine, hence the pain in her leg.
Surgery scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning.
Surgeon was in this morning and has decided further surgery required, possible blood cot which may be inflamed and causing pressure on the spine, hence the pain in her leg.
Surgery scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning.
Tuesday 21 October 2008
first night / Day after
Not a good night I'm afraid, I called the hospital about 9:45 last night to see how Kelly was settling down for the night, the nurse told me she had to give her oramorph (neat morphine) and that she would sleep like a baby, well unfortunately this was not to be the case.
On the first attempt to get Kelly up she had great difficulty and tremendous pain "indescribable" (her words) but this pain was in her right leg, now check out the cocktail of drugs that followed
On the first attempt to get Kelly up she had great difficulty and tremendous pain "indescribable" (her words) but this pain was in her right leg, now check out the cocktail of drugs that followed
- 4 oramorph
- 8 tramadol
- 5+ codene
- loads of paracetamol (lost count)
- 2 diclafenic
- 1 injection direct into her leg
and still a sleepless night.
Surgeon was contacted in the night and said this is common for this type of surgery and we were given 2 explanations:
- the spacers which have been inserted in 2 levels has now pushed back up the vertabrae and this could be the cause for the referred pain to her leg.
- nerve endings in the L1, L2, L3 area may have been bruised during surgery which are directly linked to the leg
In both cases we have been told there is no cause for concern and should ease off over the next few days, Surgeon has requested some x-rays
Day 2-
Physio- very good meet with physio she was impressed with Kelly's ability to carry out the exercises which included 5 steps up and down, physio commented on Kelly's excellent core muscles, this was the benefit of 4 years of pilates and swimming- highly recommended for anyone with similar illness and should be a pre-requisite to having this operation.
Was able to sit up and wash herself as she has been told she is not allowed to get wound area wet for minimum of 2 weeks to prevent infection
Kelly was able to walk around on crutches, short journeys around the ward and to the washroom
X-ray: apart from taking Kelly down to x-ray in a chair and then having to wait almost 45 minutes, then climb on to the x-ray table, well the state Kelly was in when she got back to her back required an immediate injection of morphine to calm her down.
We were told earlier today that Kelly may go home, but due to the level of pain she is still in and the issue of her leg it was decided she should remain in hospital, her surgeon is scheduled to see her in the morning.
Cocktail of drugs today:
- 5 oramorph
- 2 diclafenic
- 4-5 codene
- 3 morphine injections
- 8 tramadol
- loads of paracetomol
Well that's all from the Hubby for tonght, sorry if I laboured on a bit, time to get some sleep
Monday 20 October 2008
Hospital - Operation
Kelly had her operation today, in a lot of pain, but well looked after with a cocktail of drugs.
Physio will be in first thing tomorrow with a view of getting Kelly up and about.
That's all I could say for today will update situation tomorrow.
The Hubby!
Physio will be in first thing tomorrow with a view of getting Kelly up and about.
That's all I could say for today will update situation tomorrow.
The Hubby!
Sunday 19 October 2008
15 hours and counting...
Feeling remarkably calm, guess I know that it will all be over in 24 hours! My personal PA (hubby) will be posting my progress and thoughts up here for a while.
A big 'mwah' and thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.
TTFN x
A big 'mwah' and thanks to you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.
TTFN x
Saturday 18 October 2008
Taking control...
Went out for a much welcomed girlie lunch yesterday. The conversation got around to our aches and pains and as my girlfriend is having serious problems with her neck, shoulder and left arm our conversation turned to managing pain.
Now there's no doubt that at the beginning my pain was controlling my life - all I did was stuff myself with drugs, try absolutely anything and everthing that was suggested and generally feel sorry for myself. I didn't for one minute actually listen to my body - I continued with drugs and therapies that weren't helping or worse, hurt and when I did find something that worked I set myself unachievable goals (because that's just me) that invariably set me back weeks!!! Luckily , it all started to change when I met my physio. Apart from being a wonderful person, she is a voice of reason and downright common sense, who advised me from the outset to listen to my body.
For those of you out there who are still struggling to manage your pain, I thought I would document what works for me. We're all different though and this is by no means a "you must try list" just my personal account of how I manage my problem, which is predominantly structural rather than neurological.
Now there's no doubt that at the beginning my pain was controlling my life - all I did was stuff myself with drugs, try absolutely anything and everthing that was suggested and generally feel sorry for myself. I didn't for one minute actually listen to my body - I continued with drugs and therapies that weren't helping or worse, hurt and when I did find something that worked I set myself unachievable goals (because that's just me) that invariably set me back weeks!!! Luckily , it all started to change when I met my physio. Apart from being a wonderful person, she is a voice of reason and downright common sense, who advised me from the outset to listen to my body.
For those of you out there who are still struggling to manage your pain, I thought I would document what works for me. We're all different though and this is by no means a "you must try list" just my personal account of how I manage my problem, which is predominantly structural rather than neurological.
- Meds - 2x50 mg Naproxen (anti-inflammatory), 8x50mg Tramadol (morphine based pain killer), 8x30/500mg Co-codamol (pain killer added to the mix during severe episodes). For depression, Amitriptyline (anti-depresssant) which also helps reduce pain thus aiding sleep during the night. The bad stuff: constipation, altered behaviour and memory loss if you drink a lot. Suffice to say, the worst episode (as it's been relayed to me) involved lashings of wine and zambucca, my soon-to-be in-laws and a full moon, not the planet you understand, rising!!!!
- TENs - can be purchased at any large pharmacy such as Boots or Lloyd's. Helps relieve pain but fiddly and a bit hit-and-miss when no-one is helping me.
- Pilates - strengthening of the core, upper back, glutes and hamstrings - a real turning point for me. I have one session a week with my physio and try to do 20 mins every day. Look for classes that specialise in Back Control Pilates or are for people with disability or injury. Check out http://www.bodycontrol.co.uk/index.html - the Back Book is a worthy buy. For music to do your Pilates to - check out http://newworldmusic.com/uk/ .
- McKenzie and Alexander Techniques - some of these exercises have been useful - particulary for bouts of sciatica. See Robin McKenzie's book, Treat Your Own Back and Secrets of Alexander Technique by Robert MacDonald and Caro Ness.
- Hydrotherapy and Swimming (backstroke) - daily if I can manage it.
- Reflexology and Bowen - although didn't specifically help with my back pain was beneficial in treatment of my depression and constipation.
- Physio - Maitlands mobilising techniques, manipulation, electrotherapy/interferential, MET, craniosacral therapy and massage.
- Meditation - took me a while to get my head around this and I still don't get the whole chakra bit but I wouldn't be without these CDs now as a means of relaxation - my favourite is Empowering the Spirit by Ian Welch, available from New World Music as detailed above. This can lift my spirit and aid a deeper, rested sleep even when I am in the worst pain.
- MBTs - these shoes keep my posture and 'core' in check when I'm wearing them.
- Saying No - it's hard but you have to learn to put your back first.
- Consequential thinking! If I do this today, what state will I be in tomorrow?
I've deliberately omitted the things that haven't worked for me, for the simple fact that I want this blog to be a positive reflection of my journey to-date. Besides they might just work for you, and if they do, that's just great!!!
Thursday 16 October 2008
Preparations...
Well, after my shopping yesterday today I've turned my attention to preparations at home.
Been to see my GP and topped up on my meds. Oh by the way, I hope all of you out there who are taking and paying for loads of prescription drugs have applied for a Prescription Prepayment Certificate (PPC). Basically if you spend more than £102.50 per year on prescription drugs then it is worth your while - after paying for 14 prescription items you get the rest of your drugs FREE! GRATIS! You can pay for 6 months at a time and on Direct Debit so don't just think about it, do it!
Made contact with the District Nurses (via my GP), who have put me at ease regarding my after-care. They will be changing my dressings and so on, and on-call should I have any problems, which is comforting as my surgeon and his team are miles away...
Made contact with a guy near Faversham, Kent who had the op two weeks ago and others worldwide - we're 'talking' via the Spine Health forum. They have a number of threads on-the-go about Dynesis - some genuinely nice people are posting helpful comments and advice up there - definitely worth a look all you back sufferers out there. Oh, and I've set up a Dynesis group on Facebook - I'm hoping that it might attract some interest.
Next hair appointment is Xmas week, eeekkk!! Roots will be so grey by then, just call me Morticia. Oh and I don't even want to think about the 'other' hair situation. Ladies, you know what I mean!!! They say facial hair is in. As are 90 deniers. Just as well then...
Been to see my GP and topped up on my meds. Oh by the way, I hope all of you out there who are taking and paying for loads of prescription drugs have applied for a Prescription Prepayment Certificate (PPC). Basically if you spend more than £102.50 per year on prescription drugs then it is worth your while - after paying for 14 prescription items you get the rest of your drugs FREE! GRATIS! You can pay for 6 months at a time and on Direct Debit so don't just think about it, do it!
Made contact with the District Nurses (via my GP), who have put me at ease regarding my after-care. They will be changing my dressings and so on, and on-call should I have any problems, which is comforting as my surgeon and his team are miles away...
Made contact with a guy near Faversham, Kent who had the op two weeks ago and others worldwide - we're 'talking' via the Spine Health forum. They have a number of threads on-the-go about Dynesis - some genuinely nice people are posting helpful comments and advice up there - definitely worth a look all you back sufferers out there. Oh, and I've set up a Dynesis group on Facebook - I'm hoping that it might attract some interest.
Next hair appointment is Xmas week, eeekkk!! Roots will be so grey by then, just call me Morticia. Oh and I don't even want to think about the 'other' hair situation. Ladies, you know what I mean!!! They say facial hair is in. As are 90 deniers. Just as well then...
Dynesis - YouTube video
Check out this video, it shows exactly how the 'hardware' is inserted during the op.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSZPiSdNtpI&feature=related
There are also lots of other Dynesis videos on YouTube available via their search engine. I refuse to watch the actual ops that are on there - far too much information for me, I'm afraid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSZPiSdNtpI&feature=related
There are also lots of other Dynesis videos on YouTube available via their search engine. I refuse to watch the actual ops that are on there - far too much information for me, I'm afraid.
Wednesday 15 October 2008
Weird shopping...
I'm lucky enough to spend one hour a week in the company of some really special ladies - as a member of a small physio-led Pilates class. No ordinary Pilates class are we, as every one of us has a body part or two that doesn't work properly (hip, knee, heart, back, neck, shoulder). We've evolved over the years into an informal support network and invaluable source of information regarding drugs, ops, surgeons and the like.
So today, armed with valuable advice and a 'must-have' list, I've been shopping...
So today, armed with valuable advice and a 'must-have' list, I've been shopping...
- wheelchair hire - http://www.redcross.org.uk/
- zimmer, sticks, raised loo seat - district nurse or local mobility shop
- nightwear / tops with soft inbuilt bras for comfort - http://www.bravissimo.co.uk/
- Crocs (soft rubber slip-ons with backstrap) - non-slip, shock abs., hygienic, showerproof
- anti-bac handwash and wipes
- lip balm - seems to be an after-op issue
- black plastic bag for sliding easily in and out of car seat
- pedometer for post-op walking programme
not quite in the same league as breezing around Bluewater...
On another note, I've not been sleeping much and have definitely been a bit angsty and irritable these past couple of days, so it was wonderful to receive your encouraging emails and blog comments overnight. Some of you know me better than I know myself methinks. THANK YOU. And to the man, Parrott, it's lucky I lurve you otherwise your thoughts about my blog pic, "Harry Potter on the piss" might mean this "old bird" will give you a big slap sometime soon :-)
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Wills...
Well, I've just finished updating my will. I know I sound like a drama-queen, but having this surgery has really focussed my mind. Besides, it's well overdue - it hasn't been updated for 8 years and since then a lot's happened: got remarried, mum died, bruv had 3 kids, welcomed 2 step-daughters, stopped working and moved house twice!
I've also booked a place at my Graduation ceremony - paid for the tickets and robes in the hope that I might be well enough to go; I've so looked forward to the day and I'll be absolutely gutted if I can't attend. You know, doing the Certificate in Counselling these past 3 years has been a lifeline, an emotional saviour, during what I can only describe as dark days.
Before the course, I was definitely losing it. I'd gone from busy career girl to ... well, nothing. I didn't realise how much my career defined me as a person - how important it was to have the position, the salary, the social life in London. I suddenly felt utterly worthless. Boring. Dependant. Ugly. Fat. I felt a 100 years old, not 40. My brain was going to mush (the drugs I was taking played their part too). I felt I had nothing of value to say. Some mornings I could easily have thrown myself out of the bedroom window such was the pain / lack of sleep. The depression hit me like a tidal wave and boy, did I feel sorry for myself. I mean, how much physio can you do when you're in excruciating pain? How many books can you read in a week? If it wasn't for my hubby and Amitriptyline, I would certainly have gone under.
I was angry too and jealous. Why had this happened to me? How come friends were still working, travelling, drinking, socialising and generally living life to the full and I wasn't? Where was that in God's plan???
I had to do something, I had to take control and bring new focus to my life. I had to find something that would kill the endless monotony of idle time. That something turned out to be the Certificate in Counselling.
I've also booked a place at my Graduation ceremony - paid for the tickets and robes in the hope that I might be well enough to go; I've so looked forward to the day and I'll be absolutely gutted if I can't attend. You know, doing the Certificate in Counselling these past 3 years has been a lifeline, an emotional saviour, during what I can only describe as dark days.
Before the course, I was definitely losing it. I'd gone from busy career girl to ... well, nothing. I didn't realise how much my career defined me as a person - how important it was to have the position, the salary, the social life in London. I suddenly felt utterly worthless. Boring. Dependant. Ugly. Fat. I felt a 100 years old, not 40. My brain was going to mush (the drugs I was taking played their part too). I felt I had nothing of value to say. Some mornings I could easily have thrown myself out of the bedroom window such was the pain / lack of sleep. The depression hit me like a tidal wave and boy, did I feel sorry for myself. I mean, how much physio can you do when you're in excruciating pain? How many books can you read in a week? If it wasn't for my hubby and Amitriptyline, I would certainly have gone under.
I was angry too and jealous. Why had this happened to me? How come friends were still working, travelling, drinking, socialising and generally living life to the full and I wasn't? Where was that in God's plan???
I had to do something, I had to take control and bring new focus to my life. I had to find something that would kill the endless monotony of idle time. That something turned out to be the Certificate in Counselling.
Monday 13 October 2008
MRSA and other stuff...
What was uppermost in my mind when I went for my pre-op assessment last Thursday? Yep, you guessed it, MRSA. Isn't it for anyone going into hospital in the UK? I was clear in my mind - no catheter (I will crawl to a commode if necessary) or drains please. And get me out of hospital pronto.
It became clear during my assessment that MRSA is also upmost on the staff's agenda too. Apart from blood pressure, ECG, blood and urine I was also required to give MRSA swabs (from nostril and groin). I've been given a bottle of Hibiscrub that I must wash with, neck down, twice before surgery (evening before and on the morning). A note was made on my file regarding the catheter and I was assured there would be no drains. I've been told a physio will be getting me up on my feet either the same evening or first thing the next morning! I can expect to be in hospital for 2-3 days after the op.
Regarding pain relief, as I feel breakthrough pain I am to tell the nurses. I can also take my meds (apart from Naproxen which I have to stop 7 days prior) the morning of surgery - which means I no longer have to panic about how I am going to make the 100 mins journey to Hastings without drugs.
It became clear during my assessment that MRSA is also upmost on the staff's agenda too. Apart from blood pressure, ECG, blood and urine I was also required to give MRSA swabs (from nostril and groin). I've been given a bottle of Hibiscrub that I must wash with, neck down, twice before surgery (evening before and on the morning). A note was made on my file regarding the catheter and I was assured there would be no drains. I've been told a physio will be getting me up on my feet either the same evening or first thing the next morning! I can expect to be in hospital for 2-3 days after the op.
Regarding pain relief, as I feel breakthrough pain I am to tell the nurses. I can also take my meds (apart from Naproxen which I have to stop 7 days prior) the morning of surgery - which means I no longer have to panic about how I am going to make the 100 mins journey to Hastings without drugs.
The nitty gritty...
Well, I feel about as ready as I can be for this op. I don't know everything about it but I know enough to satisfy me that I am doing the right thing.
- I have faith in my surgeon. Mr Shepperd has been performing these ops for 10 years, he lectures worldwide about the technique and he was voted the British Orthopaedic Trainees Assoc. National Trainer of the Year in 2007 (phew!!). Oh, and he's a nice man. Since seeing him for the first time in 2004 the success rate has risen from 60-75%. Out of the unsuccessfuls, 4 out of 400 are worse off and have the hardware removed after 12 months, the remainder see no real benefit at all but are NOT worse off. My physio reckons a 75% success rate is pretty good.
- This operation puts in (hardware), it doesn't take out (discs).
- If I am one of the unlucky ones, I can have the hardware removed.
- The last spinal probe I endured (at levels L4-L5 and L5-S1) gave me considerable relief from pain for a couple of months. According to Mr Shepperd the probe is a reason why the success rate has gone up - patients who get relief from the probe are likely to benefit from Dynesis stabilisation.
- Problems with the hardware - discussion forums can be frightening (as well as encouraging) places to visit. I have read about hardware failure, screws coming loose and how lots of patients in the US are having the hardware removed. Some operations will fail, fact. I've been told that the screws used now are far more robust and coated with something or other that helps them to adhere better/longer. The wiring will 'give' over time with movement alone but the amount it gives can be dependent upon your level of activity. Hardware is removed when Dynesis is unsuccessful BUT it can also be removed when it's done its job i.e. discs repair, back stabilises.
There are a number of sites that I have found useful about the actual procedure itself:-
There are a couple of discussion forums that I have found useful (below) - the only problem is they're pretty much without exception North American sites/patients. Now don't get me wrong, I have no axe to grind with Americans or Canadians (I'm married to one) but I want information about the procedure, surgeons, patients and support in the UK. How the NHS fares...
I am reconciled to the fact that Dynesis is not a cure. It's merely a solution to pain and instability which hopefully will give me a new lease of life. I will always have a bad back, and that means I will always have to watch what I do and tailor my life accordingly. So what if I can't jump out of planes, I may be able to fly in one without pain. I might not run a marathon again but I may be able to power walk at the gym. And I will probably never be able to downhill ski again but I may be able to cross-country or snowshoe. Who knows, it's a new chapter...
Sunday 12 October 2008
A little bit of back (pardon the pun) ground...
I'm a 45 year old slightly overweight 'girlie' who likes to think that she used to be reasonably fit and active! Up until 4 years ago I had a career, a hectic social life, a sex life (!), I travelled regularly, downhill skied, rambled, was able to go to the gym and subject myself to any torture I fancied, I even completed the 2003 Moonwalk marathon for breast cancer. But in May 2004 all that changed.
Actually I think the problem started much earlier... my back always hurt if I carried shopping, my laptop or briefcase and if I did housework - but I took it to be the norm, that everybody's did. However, in October 2003 - my back 'collapsed' for the first time and I spent a week off work, in bed. This was followed by months of instability and bouts of pain. I'd try to get off the train or out of a perfectly ergonomic chair at work and I'd be unable to stand up straight or I'd be limping badly... I thought it odd but, in truth, alarm bells weren't ringing - I just thought my body was going through a phase. But then in May 2004 my back 'collapsed' again, for the second time - since then, NOTHING has been the same.
After seeing 2 orthopaedic surgeons, multiple x-rays, an MRI and a spinal probe I was diagnosed with degenerative disc at L5-S1, congenital abnormality of the L5 vertebra with a large right-sided transverse process producing scoliosis at L4-5. This year, following an A&E overnighter, more x-rays and a second spinal probe evidenced further problems; a tear in the L5-S1 disc, new degeneration at L4-L5 and evidence of inflammatory chemicals (TNF) "leaking all over the place", registrar's words not mine! No surprise to me that my back continues to deteriorate, I'm living with the pain and yes, that's despite continued and concerted efforts to remain mobile and flexible.
This leads me to today. After more than 4 years of pain, drugs, depression, no sleep, expense, living in hope that hydrotherapy, swimming, pilates and physio manipulation will magically fix the problem or that my back will "settle in time" I've come to realise that surgical intervention is my only chance of returning to something resembling a 'normal' life. Oh, and let me just clarify what I mean by 'normal' here... I mean, relatively drug and pain free, not NORMAL (like other people) normal. I know you know what I mean!
So that's it, I'm putting my faith in God, my surgeon (Mr John Shepperd, Conquest Hospital, Hastings), Dynesis and the good ol' NHS. It's 7 days and counting...
Actually I think the problem started much earlier... my back always hurt if I carried shopping, my laptop or briefcase and if I did housework - but I took it to be the norm, that everybody's did. However, in October 2003 - my back 'collapsed' for the first time and I spent a week off work, in bed. This was followed by months of instability and bouts of pain. I'd try to get off the train or out of a perfectly ergonomic chair at work and I'd be unable to stand up straight or I'd be limping badly... I thought it odd but, in truth, alarm bells weren't ringing - I just thought my body was going through a phase. But then in May 2004 my back 'collapsed' again, for the second time - since then, NOTHING has been the same.
After seeing 2 orthopaedic surgeons, multiple x-rays, an MRI and a spinal probe I was diagnosed with degenerative disc at L5-S1, congenital abnormality of the L5 vertebra with a large right-sided transverse process producing scoliosis at L4-5. This year, following an A&E overnighter, more x-rays and a second spinal probe evidenced further problems; a tear in the L5-S1 disc, new degeneration at L4-L5 and evidence of inflammatory chemicals (TNF) "leaking all over the place", registrar's words not mine! No surprise to me that my back continues to deteriorate, I'm living with the pain and yes, that's despite continued and concerted efforts to remain mobile and flexible.
This leads me to today. After more than 4 years of pain, drugs, depression, no sleep, expense, living in hope that hydrotherapy, swimming, pilates and physio manipulation will magically fix the problem or that my back will "settle in time" I've come to realise that surgical intervention is my only chance of returning to something resembling a 'normal' life. Oh, and let me just clarify what I mean by 'normal' here... I mean, relatively drug and pain free, not NORMAL (like other people) normal. I know you know what I mean!
So that's it, I'm putting my faith in God, my surgeon (Mr John Shepperd, Conquest Hospital, Hastings), Dynesis and the good ol' NHS. It's 7 days and counting...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
