Sunday 30 November 2008

Living & learning...

Well I'm 6 weeks tomorrow post-op (1st one) and I have to say that I am quite pleased with my progress so far. Seeing my surgeon again on Tuesday when I hope he will give me the OK to start hydrotherapy at my local hospital. So what have I been doing this past week...

Tablets & pain - well I've managed to cut out two more painkillers this week which means that I'm now taking approx. 50% the number I was when I first came home. I take the 'full monty' of painbusters (2 Tramadol, 2 Paracetamol & 1 Diclofenic) at 8am and again at 11pm and a booster at 4pm. Not so sure it has been a good idea to cut these pills as I have been getting some breakthrough pain late evening and during the night but I am going to persevere if I can. I will be sensible though and stay at this level for a couple of weeks. Coming off all these drugs is part of my roadmap... Pain in the leg is 'shutting up' slowly but I have had some weird sensations in and around the wound site - one night I felt as though the area was one giant pin-cushion - I was up for a couple of hours in the night not exactly in pain but in discomfort. I've also experienced the 'fizzing' my Pilates friend talked about - it's like rice krispies (snap,crackle & pop) under the skin! My friend says it's where the inflammation is going and the nerves are crackling back into life. Whoa!

Exercise - I have upped the amount of daily exercise now to include exercises such as sciatic nerve mobilisation (hamstrings), side-side knee rolls, lying in extension and flexion (legs) in lying - these exercises in particular help with stiffness caused by surgery, restore muscle & tissue length and reduce scarring - damaged tissues can heal up and become short and less flexible.

Anxiety - I talked about this in my last post. Things haven't improved this week I'm afraid - in fact, I have experienced a number of anxiety attacks this week with one developing into a full-blown panic attack. This is frightening for me as well as for Dr Vic who has to get me breathing properly again and calm me down. I feel like I've got a million and one things going round in my head - stupid I know, I'm going to mention this to my surgeon on Tuesday just to see if it's 'normal'. Maybe it's just that I have too much time on my hands to think...

Out and about - sadly I missed my graduation ceremony and a dear family members 70th - it was optimistic of me to even think that I could attend either event. BUT I did manage to do some christmas shopping in the Fraser sale. I was under strict intructions from Dr Vic - I had 45 minutes to shimmy (well hobble with my stick!) around and get some gifts. Felt really pleased with myself as I got loads of nice bargain stocking fillers (most of my shopping has been done on the Internet). Mind you the exertion combined with all the drugs made me sweat profusely, so much so that one assistant actually asked me if it was raining outside. My goodness, I looked like a drowned rat but boy DID I enjoy myself!!!!

So for both of us, this week has seen a small return to something resembling normality... I know I still have a mountain to climb but it was wonderful to enjoy the moment and see a huge smile on Dr Vic's face again, he's been so worried about me...

Sunday 23 November 2008

5 weeks on.... overwhelming feelings

This past week has been OK - still experiencing various problems with my right leg and still on 16 tablets a day BUT I am improving! I know if I sit for too long that I will experience lots of pain in the right leg above the knee and if I walk too much, then it will play me up below the knee... The top of the leg has been hurting me now for 2 days but I'm hoping that some exercise a bit later tonight will 'free' up the nerve(s) that are acting up. Biggest problem still is constipation caused by the morphine & codeine based pills - Dr Vic's expectant face followed by "Anything?" every time I leave the loo just makes me laugh out loud - bless him!

Funny thing started to happen to me this week - and it may be because I can now concentrate on other stuff - and that has been the wave of feelings, good and bad, that have come over me. On the odd occasion that I've been out in the car I've been worried that Dr Vic is going to drive into the back of someone or someone is going to crash into us and jolt my back. I'm worried with the winter coming about falling over. Worried to wear any other shoes than the bright green Crocs that have been a feature of my feet for the past 5 weeks - they're non-slip, light, shock-absorbent and SAFE! I'm panicking about travelling by plane again! I'm not normally an anxious person but I seem to be worried about lots of stuff now.

I've also been feeling a lot of anger and sadness about the last 5 years. Anger about the many times I've had to justify to non-believers that I had a back problem or was in pain. If I had a pound for every time someone said I didn't look like someone with a bad back or walk like a typical back sufferer then I would be a rich person. We don't all walk around doubled over in sack-cloth and ashes ringing a bell, "unclean, unclean, oh woe is me"!! Some of us just get on with it... The sadness I feel is for my "old life" - my career, London, social life, skiing, gym, having a good drink! Most of all, spontaneity - the freedom to do anything without really thinking about it too much. I have lost count of the number of holidays and social engagements that I have had to cancel or miss. Sadness that whilst I thankfully have some very loyal and caring friends, others have fallen by the wayside. Why? For some it was distance, others unreliability (mine) and for others I guess they identified with the "old Kelly" - the 'game-on girlie' who was up for pretty much anything - they wanted that girl back! She's gone, went a long time ago... I'm still the same person inside but I have to live my life differently now. Out of necessity, enforcement even, I have a different focus. And whilst I may have a disability, I've still got a life, and a bloody good one at that! it might have taken me a damn long time to accept and get used to that idea (and I did have quite prolonged bouts of depression along the way) but you know what, I like my life now. I've come to accept the new me but who knows what the next 12 months will bring? A NEW new me maybe???? Bring it on, I'm ready...

Wednesday 19 November 2008

Meet the "Doctor"

A couple of Kelly's oldest and dearest friends sent us something that really made us laugh. Thanks guys!

I think it's time for you all to ..."meet the Doctor".


Monday 17 November 2008

One month on...

Hi guys, Dr. Vic signing on. Here's what's been happening these past few days...

Drugs: Kelly has significantly reduced the number of drugs she is taking from 5 sessions a day down to 3. Mind you, it hasn't always been successful and I've had a couple of "give me some drugs NOW!" Still cause for concern - constipation - but nothing a large dose of prunes, fruit juice and more drugs can't sort out.

Exercise: Kelly is doing well here - she says that her back feels supported and strong. I guess her previous years of Pilates have really paid off and as I mentioned in an earlier blog, she believes that Pilates or some other form of core-based exercise should be a pre-requisite to this type of operation.

Days out: We ventured out a couple of times this past week, the first was a short car ride followed by a stroll in the wheelchair. What a disaster! The pain Kelly endured afterwards was very bad, she couldn't have spent more than 20 minutes in the chair, so sitting for any period of time is still out of the question. It certainly set her back at least 2 days. We tried again yesterday, this time with the stick and without the chair - same amount of time and it was OK. We've decided to put this into our routine, a short walk to clear the cobwebs perhaps every other day, until we see Kelly's surgeon early December who hopefully will give her the OK to start hydrotherapy and other physio.

Passing the time: How do you pass 16 hours a day in bed? Highlights include having a shower with Dr. Vic assisting :-) "oo-eer missus", reading 2 newspapers, Nintendo DS/Brain Training (I'm hooked too, so we're challenging each other every night), quick lunch/dinner downstairs, exercises and sleep.

Millie (the dawg): Our wild and crazy little madam, but you know what, she has engaged well with Kelly's situation. Funny isn't it how pets have a sixth sense - she seems to understand that she mustn't jump up and that Kelly cannot bend down to stroke her. Somehow she's worked her way onto the bed so that she can be near to Kelly and stroked.


Dear mum,

Hope you are feeling better,

love Millie, ruff ruff xxx

Wednesday 12 November 2008

What a difference a week makes...

Well, I cannot believe the change from last week. Sure, I'm still in pain but the past couple of days has seen the pain no higher than 6 and I've managed to 'lose' some tablets at 4am and 2pm (5 tablets in all). This in itself is good news plus it might mean that I can cut out the other tablets I'm taking for severe constipation!!!

I'm showing a marked improvement in back and core capability - I can see / feel it when I do the prescribed exercises and moving around. Hamstring length is improving, although I've got some funny niggles in my right groin tonight which I'm not happy about, so perhaps I've overdone that one. I've been told that I should try to start putting my back into extension - I've always struggled with this, particularly when lying face down, but over the years I have built up resistance. But I am now back to square one - I could only do it for about 4 seconds x 3 yesterday - I don't like how it makes my back feel, I'm a little bit scared of pushing it too far.

Still can only sleep on my back with a pillow under my knees - have tried lying on my side, whilst it doesn't hurt as such, it is v. uncomfortable plus (and I know this might be psychological) it makes me feel sick because I think I can feel the Dynesys in my back! As for 'jiggy-jiggy' - don't even go there - my Pilates Back Book has some wonderful positions in it, yeh, right!!

Still need help with showering particularly back, legs, feet and hair. Hair washing and drying is a real challenge, v.tiring - looking a bit like the wild man of Borneo at the mo'.

Scar is healing nicely - District Nurse recommended Aqueous Cream to heal and lubricate it. It's a wonder cream as it is also curing my scaly, dry back and legs (I guess from laying in bed a lot) and the hard skin on my heels. AND as a bonus it is so cheap - £1.99 for a huge tub from the local chemist. No longer will I salivate over the Molten Brown counter in JL - I'm a convert.

The experts have told me that 3 things are of the utmost importance to safeguard long-term relief from pain and the integrity of the Dynesys hardware:-
  1. respect my back and the hardware in it and don't do anything silly - if I've got to think about it, I shouldn't do it
  2. exercise (pilates / swimming) every day for the rest of my life
  3. maintain a healthy body weight and BMI

No problem with 1) and 2) - been doing them for 4+ years. But as some of you know, I'm a bit chunky (as my surgeon said post op.2!!! tee hee... ) so 3) will be a challenge. It's been hard controlling my weight these last years when I have been unable to do any 'proper' cardio - runner, x-trainer, bike - but it can no longer be an excuse. I am determined and as such have already lost 8lb since the operation (I have no appetite at the mo' though). I'm in this for the long haul and I am determined that NOTHING I can control will put me back in daily pain or the operating theatre - I've made this promise to myself and to Dr. Vic - that much at least I owe him after all he's had to put up with these past 4+ years...

Lastly, Mom and Dad (in-laws) in Canada have bought be a Nintendo DS to wile away the hours in bed. Big sloppy kiss, mwah! It's great fun - but I am a bit worried that I'm going ga-ga - so far my brain age has been 80, 65, 58 and 57. Even worse Dr. Vic is beating me - his best score is 35, I'll never live that one down.

My friends who have had major ops have told me I may experience some 'fizzing' in my body as the inflammation subsides and my nerves kick back into action. Also to watch out for post op / anaesthetic low moods. Flak jacket and helmet on, I'm ready... x

Sunday 9 November 2008

Settling down...

Hello troops, well it looks like things are starting to settle down with Kelly - it is still a roller-coaster with regards to pain, but overall it's manageable. Kelly is still reliant on the maximum amount of drugs per day and spends the majority of time in bed BUT it does seem to be working.

This being the case, so as not to bore the pants off you all, we will only post to the blog as and when there is something worthy to report regarding Kelly's recovery or other useful information we can provide.

Kelly is still keen to keep her blog going for the benefit of current / future Dynesys patients and back sufferers, so you guys, do keep checking in.

Again, thanks for your overwhelming support these last weeks, Kelly and I cannot thank you enough.

Ta ta for now. Dr Vic

Friday 7 November 2008

2 weeks post op

Dr. Vic checking in.

Today has been a GOOD day....

Hope yours was too!

Thursday 6 November 2008

Pain Management

Hi troops Dr. Vic here again, I'm afraid you are going to have me for a while yet, following yesterday's note from Kel even her short visit to this pc did not do her any favours, I guess when the surgeon said she has to rest he means it!

I had omitted a point the other night on the reason why Kel's pain in the leg is on the up rather than down, basically the drugs that were injected directly into her spine during the 2nd op. are now wearing off - things are going to get worse before they get better.

On the subject of pain, Kelly has had to learn to live with it not just these past weeks but since Oct 03. To say I have struggled to understand her methodology on pain management is an understatement. Let me explain... when Kel is in pain I would try to change the subject to a more pleasant matter to take her mind off it but I would get shot down in flames and told to keep quiet!!! I could offer 1 hours free shopping at Tiffanys and she would still ignore me - the reason being, she says, is that she needs all her energy to focus on the pain and whilst it doesn't necessarily ease it, it helps her to manage it - she CANNOT concentrate on ANYTHING else. So when people say Kel is a "tough cookie", I agree - she has a high threshold to pain that has been nurtured over the years. I call it an "East End" thing, they just get on with it.

This works for Kel, but everyone is different. Who knows how we would cope, hopefully we won't have to find out.

Wednesday 5 November 2008

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Hi guys, at long last I am able to sit at the computer long enough to write you all a short note. Dr. Vic has been doing a blinding job of my blog these past two weeks as he has done in looking after me (and that's been no picnic, believe me!). He truly is one of the good guys and I am ever thankful that we found one another... as I am thankful to you all, my wonderful family and friends.

What can I say, other than I have been totally overwhelmed by your kindness and caring. The fact that you are taking the time to read and respond to my blog is more than I dreamed would happen when I started it. Believe me, it has lifted my spirits no end to hear your comments and read your lovely cards - your wit, humour, compassion and advice has buoyed me, made me laugh out loud, cry even. I look forward to my next visits with my dear family and friends in Canada and Malta - we always have fun whenever we visit but next time I WILL be kicking those pins of mine up and dancing round the vineyards... batten down the hatches!!!! I would also like to say hello to my 'new' friends - those of you who have been in contact either because someone else forwarded my blog to you or because you have had or are about to have Dynesys - it was always my intention to offer a point of reference/view to others in my position, I'm glad to hear the blog is of help to some of you.

Enough of the mushy stuff now.... Thanks again and do keep the comments coming.

Love to you all. Kelly xxx

Tuesday 4 November 2008

Putting our minds at rest

Dr Vic here... been to see the surgeon today, here's the results :
  • Pain in the right lower leg did not give Mr Shepperd (surgeon) any concerns - it appears it is to be expected given the haematoma complications / 2nd operation. In his words the pain will ... "SHUT UP" in time.

  • On-going recovery - Kelly has been told to be very patient and to "take it easy" for another 4 weeks. The surgeon explained that Kelly's recovery will be an extended one due to the 2 operations and the fact that the back muscles have been stretched twice and the lumbar nerves have been traumatised by the blood clots. Plenty of rest is what the doctor ordered and this means NO hydrotherapy or increase in exercises, short walks only (on the flat) and plenty of bed rest. And... keep taking the drugs.

  • Stitches removed, wound is clean but not completely dry - Kelly can shower at last!!
Apparently this visit was brought forward because the surgeon wanted to check on Kelly's progress a bit earlier than usual. We're glad to be under Mr Shepperd - he really seems to care and listen, which is important if you are to have faith in someone who is going to 'mess with your bod' (as Kelly says)!
Overall we're 'happy' with the outcome of today - Kelly knows she's got a long way to go yet and that she is likely to be in pain for some time BUT she's OK with it. She just needed to hear someone say that what she is going through is the 'norm' and it appears it is given the complications. And that together with the fact that we're back to see the surgeon again in 4 weeks time, is comforting.

Monday 3 November 2008

Cause for Concern

We had a bit of a set back this weekend which has given us cause for concern.

  1. Kelly's wound has been dry since she's been home but we noticed some bleeding on the dressing yesterday - called the district nurse out this morning and she changed the dressing. The wound is weeping and there is some swelling but no infection. This unfortunately will have a knock-on effect in that she won't be able to have her stitches removed tomorrow when we see the surgeon. Plus she won't be able to get into the pool to start her hydro, which she is so desperately wanting to do.
  2. The pain in the right leg is not going.... yes we've had a couple of good days where pain hit a low of 4 but last night and today it's gone back up to 9!
Kelly is v.down and upset today - she doesn't know if what is happening to her is the 'norm' and she is now starting to worry that she may have to undergo another procedure to fix the pain in her leg. I'm hoping that our meeting with the surgeon tomorrow will reassure us that all is OK and that what she is going through is the 'norm'. That will put us both at ease.

Saturday 1 November 2008

1st week at home

A week at home now and the biggest challenge has been getting the balance of drugs-pain ratio right. I have been keeping a log (and this exercise is proving very helpful):-
  • time of day drugs taken
  • what drugs and quantities
  • Kelly's pain level at the time

The objective of this is two-fold: 1. to ensure I don't overdose Kelly on the amount of drugs and 2. to see if there is any pattern emerging as to time of day, pain level and drug taken. Just a tip for those of you recovering or soon to undergo surgery - everyday paracetamol, which can be bought over the counter, when taken with Tramadol or Diclafenec for example, increases the effectiveness/power of the drug significantly - it can also create an effective 'bridge' when you are in pain but have hours to go before the next lots of meds. This has been deemed perfectly OK for Kelly but PLEASE do check with your own medics that it's OK for you before trying it.

Final note on the drugs, there was one day when Kelly elected to skip some drugs... big mistake -it was far too premature - she now realises that the amount of drugs prescribed are needed (especially this soon after the op). I'm sure in time there will be significant reductions but for the time being, we will keep to a strict schedule, it seems to be working.

On a pain scale of 1-10 we had one day only as low as 4, we've hit a few 9s, but on the whole it's been 6,7,8s. It's still early days and we are not out of the shits yet but we are beginning to see a pattern developing. We are due to see the surgeon on the 4th November and I hope by then we could share with him the results of Kelly's progress / pain since the operation, and what drugs have been taken and when.

Kelly has been told by her surgeon that she will be monitored for months and years to come. I guess what with this being a relatively new procedure (under 10 years, 75% success rate) they are very keen to get as much information about the success / outcomes of the procedure so that they can improve it for others in the future. I guess in a way Kelly is one of many medical 'guinea pigs' ! She has always said that someone has to do it and believe me this operation wasn't entered into lightly!

Kelly has already built up a routine of movement / exercises - she is limited to about 50 minutes a day - and this includes stairs, visits to the loo and washing - so when all that is taken out it doesn't leave much time - Kelly feels she could do more, but she mustn't and has had Dr. Vic tell her off on more than one occasion this week.

Well it's Saturday night, time to call it a day and chill. Dr Vic.

P.s Kelly sends her love to all.