A little bit of back (pardon the pun) ground...

I'm a 45 year old slightly overweight 'girlie' who likes to think that she used to be reasonably fit and active! Up until 4 years ago I had a career, a hectic social life, a sex life (!), I travelled regularly, downhill skied, rambled, was able to go to the gym and subject myself to any torture I fancied, I even completed the 2003 Moonwalk marathon for breast cancer. But in May 2004 all that changed.

Actually I think the problem started much earlier... my back always hurt if I carried shopping, my laptop or briefcase and if I did housework - but I took it to be the norm, that everybody's did. However, in October 2003 - my back 'collapsed' for the first time and I spent a week off work, in bed. This was followed by months of instability and bouts of pain. I'd try to get off the train or out of a perfectly ergonomic chair at work and I'd be unable to stand up straight or I'd be limping badly... I thought it odd but, in truth, alarm bells weren't ringing - I just thought my body was going through a phase. But then in May 2004 my back 'collapsed' again, for the second time - since then, NOTHING has been the same.

After seeing 2 orthopaedic surgeons, multiple x-rays, an MRI and a spinal probe I was diagnosed with degenerative disc at L5-S1, congenital abnormality of the L5 vertebra with a large right-sided transverse process producing scoliosis at L4-5. This year, following an A&E overnighter, more x-rays and a second spinal probe evidenced further problems; a tear in the L5-S1 disc, new degeneration at L4-L5 and evidence of inflammatory chemicals (TNF) "leaking all over the place", registrar's words not mine! No surprise to me that my back continues to deteriorate, I'm living with the pain and yes, that's despite continued and concerted efforts to remain mobile and flexible.

This leads me to today. After more than 4 years of pain, drugs, depression, no sleep, expense, living in hope that hydrotherapy, swimming, pilates and physio manipulation will magically fix the problem or that my back will "settle in time" I've come to realise that surgical intervention is my only chance of returning to something resembling a 'normal' life. Oh, and let me just clarify what I mean by 'normal' here... I mean, relatively drug and pain free, not NORMAL (like other people) normal. I know you know what I mean!

So that's it, I'm putting my faith in God, my surgeon (Mr John Shepperd, Conquest Hospital, Hastings), Dynesis and the good ol' NHS. It's 7 days and counting...