Well, I've just finished updating my will. I know I sound like a drama-queen, but having this surgery has really focussed my mind. Besides, it's well overdue - it hasn't been updated for 8 years and since then a lot's happened: got remarried, mum died, bruv had 3 kids, welcomed 2 step-daughters, stopped working and moved house twice!
I've also booked a place at my Graduation ceremony - paid for the tickets and robes in the hope that I might be well enough to go; I've so looked forward to the day and I'll be absolutely gutted if I can't attend. You know, doing the Certificate in Counselling these past 3 years has been a lifeline, an emotional saviour, during what I can only describe as dark days.
Before the course, I was definitely losing it. I'd gone from busy career girl to ... well, nothing. I didn't realise how much my career defined me as a person - how important it was to have the position, the salary, the social life in London. I suddenly felt utterly worthless. Boring. Dependant. Ugly. Fat. I felt a 100 years old, not 40. My brain was going to mush (the drugs I was taking played their part too). I felt I had nothing of value to say. Some mornings I could easily have thrown myself out of the bedroom window such was the pain / lack of sleep. The depression hit me like a tidal wave and boy, did I feel sorry for myself. I mean, how much physio can you do when you're in excruciating pain? How many books can you read in a week? If it wasn't for my hubby and Amitriptyline, I would certainly have gone under.
I was angry too and jealous. Why had this happened to me? How come friends were still working, travelling, drinking, socialising and generally living life to the full and I wasn't? Where was that in God's plan???
I had to do something, I had to take control and bring new focus to my life. I had to find something that would kill the endless monotony of idle time. That something turned out to be the Certificate in Counselling.
Showing posts with label back pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label back pain. Show all posts
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Monday, 13 October 2008
MRSA and other stuff...
What was uppermost in my mind when I went for my pre-op assessment last Thursday? Yep, you guessed it, MRSA. Isn't it for anyone going into hospital in the UK? I was clear in my mind - no catheter (I will crawl to a commode if necessary) or drains please. And get me out of hospital pronto.
It became clear during my assessment that MRSA is also upmost on the staff's agenda too. Apart from blood pressure, ECG, blood and urine I was also required to give MRSA swabs (from nostril and groin). I've been given a bottle of Hibiscrub that I must wash with, neck down, twice before surgery (evening before and on the morning). A note was made on my file regarding the catheter and I was assured there would be no drains. I've been told a physio will be getting me up on my feet either the same evening or first thing the next morning! I can expect to be in hospital for 2-3 days after the op.
Regarding pain relief, as I feel breakthrough pain I am to tell the nurses. I can also take my meds (apart from Naproxen which I have to stop 7 days prior) the morning of surgery - which means I no longer have to panic about how I am going to make the 100 mins journey to Hastings without drugs.
It became clear during my assessment that MRSA is also upmost on the staff's agenda too. Apart from blood pressure, ECG, blood and urine I was also required to give MRSA swabs (from nostril and groin). I've been given a bottle of Hibiscrub that I must wash with, neck down, twice before surgery (evening before and on the morning). A note was made on my file regarding the catheter and I was assured there would be no drains. I've been told a physio will be getting me up on my feet either the same evening or first thing the next morning! I can expect to be in hospital for 2-3 days after the op.
Regarding pain relief, as I feel breakthrough pain I am to tell the nurses. I can also take my meds (apart from Naproxen which I have to stop 7 days prior) the morning of surgery - which means I no longer have to panic about how I am going to make the 100 mins journey to Hastings without drugs.
The nitty gritty...
Well, I feel about as ready as I can be for this op. I don't know everything about it but I know enough to satisfy me that I am doing the right thing.
- I have faith in my surgeon. Mr Shepperd has been performing these ops for 10 years, he lectures worldwide about the technique and he was voted the British Orthopaedic Trainees Assoc. National Trainer of the Year in 2007 (phew!!). Oh, and he's a nice man. Since seeing him for the first time in 2004 the success rate has risen from 60-75%. Out of the unsuccessfuls, 4 out of 400 are worse off and have the hardware removed after 12 months, the remainder see no real benefit at all but are NOT worse off. My physio reckons a 75% success rate is pretty good.
- This operation puts in (hardware), it doesn't take out (discs).
- If I am one of the unlucky ones, I can have the hardware removed.
- The last spinal probe I endured (at levels L4-L5 and L5-S1) gave me considerable relief from pain for a couple of months. According to Mr Shepperd the probe is a reason why the success rate has gone up - patients who get relief from the probe are likely to benefit from Dynesis stabilisation.
- Problems with the hardware - discussion forums can be frightening (as well as encouraging) places to visit. I have read about hardware failure, screws coming loose and how lots of patients in the US are having the hardware removed. Some operations will fail, fact. I've been told that the screws used now are far more robust and coated with something or other that helps them to adhere better/longer. The wiring will 'give' over time with movement alone but the amount it gives can be dependent upon your level of activity. Hardware is removed when Dynesis is unsuccessful BUT it can also be removed when it's done its job i.e. discs repair, back stabilises.
There are a number of sites that I have found useful about the actual procedure itself:-
There are a couple of discussion forums that I have found useful (below) - the only problem is they're pretty much without exception North American sites/patients. Now don't get me wrong, I have no axe to grind with Americans or Canadians (I'm married to one) but I want information about the procedure, surgeons, patients and support in the UK. How the NHS fares...
I am reconciled to the fact that Dynesis is not a cure. It's merely a solution to pain and instability which hopefully will give me a new lease of life. I will always have a bad back, and that means I will always have to watch what I do and tailor my life accordingly. So what if I can't jump out of planes, I may be able to fly in one without pain. I might not run a marathon again but I may be able to power walk at the gym. And I will probably never be able to downhill ski again but I may be able to cross-country or snowshoe. Who knows, it's a new chapter...
Sunday, 12 October 2008
A little bit of back (pardon the pun) ground...
I'm a 45 year old slightly overweight 'girlie' who likes to think that she used to be reasonably fit and active! Up until 4 years ago I had a career, a hectic social life, a sex life (!), I travelled regularly, downhill skied, rambled, was able to go to the gym and subject myself to any torture I fancied, I even completed the 2003 Moonwalk marathon for breast cancer. But in May 2004 all that changed.
Actually I think the problem started much earlier... my back always hurt if I carried shopping, my laptop or briefcase and if I did housework - but I took it to be the norm, that everybody's did. However, in October 2003 - my back 'collapsed' for the first time and I spent a week off work, in bed. This was followed by months of instability and bouts of pain. I'd try to get off the train or out of a perfectly ergonomic chair at work and I'd be unable to stand up straight or I'd be limping badly... I thought it odd but, in truth, alarm bells weren't ringing - I just thought my body was going through a phase. But then in May 2004 my back 'collapsed' again, for the second time - since then, NOTHING has been the same.
After seeing 2 orthopaedic surgeons, multiple x-rays, an MRI and a spinal probe I was diagnosed with degenerative disc at L5-S1, congenital abnormality of the L5 vertebra with a large right-sided transverse process producing scoliosis at L4-5. This year, following an A&E overnighter, more x-rays and a second spinal probe evidenced further problems; a tear in the L5-S1 disc, new degeneration at L4-L5 and evidence of inflammatory chemicals (TNF) "leaking all over the place", registrar's words not mine! No surprise to me that my back continues to deteriorate, I'm living with the pain and yes, that's despite continued and concerted efforts to remain mobile and flexible.
This leads me to today. After more than 4 years of pain, drugs, depression, no sleep, expense, living in hope that hydrotherapy, swimming, pilates and physio manipulation will magically fix the problem or that my back will "settle in time" I've come to realise that surgical intervention is my only chance of returning to something resembling a 'normal' life. Oh, and let me just clarify what I mean by 'normal' here... I mean, relatively drug and pain free, not NORMAL (like other people) normal. I know you know what I mean!
So that's it, I'm putting my faith in God, my surgeon (Mr John Shepperd, Conquest Hospital, Hastings), Dynesis and the good ol' NHS. It's 7 days and counting...
Actually I think the problem started much earlier... my back always hurt if I carried shopping, my laptop or briefcase and if I did housework - but I took it to be the norm, that everybody's did. However, in October 2003 - my back 'collapsed' for the first time and I spent a week off work, in bed. This was followed by months of instability and bouts of pain. I'd try to get off the train or out of a perfectly ergonomic chair at work and I'd be unable to stand up straight or I'd be limping badly... I thought it odd but, in truth, alarm bells weren't ringing - I just thought my body was going through a phase. But then in May 2004 my back 'collapsed' again, for the second time - since then, NOTHING has been the same.
After seeing 2 orthopaedic surgeons, multiple x-rays, an MRI and a spinal probe I was diagnosed with degenerative disc at L5-S1, congenital abnormality of the L5 vertebra with a large right-sided transverse process producing scoliosis at L4-5. This year, following an A&E overnighter, more x-rays and a second spinal probe evidenced further problems; a tear in the L5-S1 disc, new degeneration at L4-L5 and evidence of inflammatory chemicals (TNF) "leaking all over the place", registrar's words not mine! No surprise to me that my back continues to deteriorate, I'm living with the pain and yes, that's despite continued and concerted efforts to remain mobile and flexible.
This leads me to today. After more than 4 years of pain, drugs, depression, no sleep, expense, living in hope that hydrotherapy, swimming, pilates and physio manipulation will magically fix the problem or that my back will "settle in time" I've come to realise that surgical intervention is my only chance of returning to something resembling a 'normal' life. Oh, and let me just clarify what I mean by 'normal' here... I mean, relatively drug and pain free, not NORMAL (like other people) normal. I know you know what I mean!
So that's it, I'm putting my faith in God, my surgeon (Mr John Shepperd, Conquest Hospital, Hastings), Dynesis and the good ol' NHS. It's 7 days and counting...
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