Drug free at last!!!

Well, here’s the good news folks… after 5½ years of taking a much publicised cocktail of drugs (and 8 months post-op) I am happy to say that I am now 4 days completely drug free!!!! Woop woop.

Getting rid of the drugs has always been my ultimate goal - for the past couple of months I have been surviving on paracetamol with a few Tramadol thrown in for good measure! Apart from 3 weeks of horrid withdrawal symptoms when I came off Amitriptyline last year, I have suffered no addiction or withdrawal problems. And… considering the concoction and volume I’ve taken over the years I consider myself very fortunate. I’ve pretty much lived for this day – ending the daily dependency - so it was with a mix of excitement and anxiety that I approached Monday morning.

So far… well, I’m not pain-free. Hey, I’m a realist. Did I ever really think that I would be totally pain free, good as new, ‘normal’ again??? Course not. The good news is that the pain is do-able. It’s not pain of the sleepless nights, jump-out-the-window and end-it-all type that daily cursed me – it’s more of a done-too-much pain that I can live with. If an hour lying down on the bed don’t fix it then I am happy to pop the odd paracetamol or Advil to get me thru it. I can live with that! Go girl...

Btw... received 2 wonderful, informative and encouraging responses recently from 2 other ‘spineys’ who are living with Dynesys…

QUOTE ONE I had dynesis 5 yrs ago and to this day i have not had any major problems, yes i get a bit of back pain, but its not enough to get me taking those horrible pain killers again, i always rest after work, at least half an hour laying on my bed, i put hot water bottles on my back to help the occasional aches and pains. i work as a storeman /forktruck driver so i do a bit of lifting, and other than have to stop doing sport, i live a normal life, every few months if im feeling very stiff etc, i visit my physio and after a few sessions it seems to do me a bit of good, the only thing is that you still get worried from time to time, even after this long that your back may give out again, but as the years go on i wonder if you could call this succesful, if i take it easy, no pain, but you still go around watching everyone else running jumping around without a care in the world thinking i just wish i could do that, but theres no way you can or ever will again. so i wish you all a pain free life and good health. ps just wanted to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. UNQUOTE

QUOTE TWO Just want to say firstly for all of you who have had probs with your dynesys I'm sorry you have had that experience but also to leave a positive message that it does sometimes work! and work and work well. I had dynesys stabilisation of L3,4+5 in March 2006 following 15 years of back pain due to 3 slipped discs +some spinal stenosis. Before my op I was in daily pain (on tramadol, paracetamol +diclofenac) and during flare ups would be unable to stand upright for 2+ weeks at a time. I was offered fusion but decided against that as felt I wanted the flexibility. My surgeon (in Bristol, England) informed me that there would only be 50% chance of improvement, 30% chance i would be unchanged post-op and 20% chance I would be worse so I figured that as long as i didnt fall into the 20% worse then it was worth the risk. So far my op has been a total success. I am left with nerve damage around my bum and upper thighs but that is a small price to pay to be able to virtually free of back pain! UNQUOTE

Upping the ante!

Been in a bit of pain this week but only because I have upped the amount & level of exercise that I'm doing. This is mainly because I need to increase the cardio workout that I'm doing (which is virtually nil) in order to better control my weight. I've got beautifully toned muscles all right but there's a layer of fat sitting on top of them!!! LOL Plus we have a big bash wedding to go to at the end of August and I need to fit into my frock :-)

So in addition to the hydro and basic core strengthening exercises, I'm now doing my Pilates class weekly, swimming lengths, increasing my upper body strength with dumbells (lightweights/multiple reps) and I've just purchased a recumbant x-bike to peddle at home when I get the odd 20 mins or so. What is it about recumbants that makes them so much more expensive than normal x-bikes - yikes... Yeh, I know I could peddle at the gym but you know what, there's only so much time you can spend there... people are starting to talk!!!

Oh, btw 8 months post-op tomorrow!!

PILATES - the return!!

Woop woop, finally returned to my clinical Pilates class today... it was sooo good to see J and all the girls again. Bit nervous about the exercises that put my back into extension e.g. spine curl, but J went fairly easy on us all - I actually did every exercise AND finished the class!! Nice to meet a few new additions to the class too. Dead whacked now, but feeling good...

btw... the Dynesys group on Facebook now has 43 members and has developed a life of its own. We are not the biggest 'spiney' group in terms of members BUT we are the biggest (I've been led to believe) in terms of overall activity/posts, which is great. Pretty mind boggling really and much much more than I could have hoped for when I started this blog.

All quiet..

Time marches on... I can't believe that it's 7 months since my op!

Right hip and butt cheek have been shouting loudly this week due to sitting for too long in the wrong chair one lunch. and I'm still unable to carry anything other than a light handbag - even one small shopping bag a short distance remains a no-no, the dragging pains when I do so are the SAME as before the op - hell! Still it's no hardship - I've got well used to internet shopping these past few years and long may it continue!!!

Soooo looking forward to returning to my Pilates class in a couple of weeks time not least because I have missed my pals. As I've said before, we truly are 'old crocks' - the walking wounded ;-) We've all got at least one bit of our bod that's not working properly &/or been re-engineered! Our physio J works hard to ensure our joints are 'oiled' and soothed... and as a group we support one another, swap experiences but more importantly, we can laugh together (mainly at ourselves and our limitations). It works wonders...

Back with a bang!

First off, apologies for the radio-silence but I've been away in Clearwater for the past 3 weeks. It was very much what the doc ordered - lots of sun and lazy floating days by the pool (and yes, I was a good girl and did my pool exercises EVERY day). Fortunately we've been to Florida before so we could just relax and not worry about what we were missing by doing so!! Lots of things to tell you, so here goes...

• Latest trip to surgeon on Tuesday confirmed that I am making steady progress, in line with his expectations - I'm not in the top (got fast relief) or bottom (little to no relief) group of patients - I'm a plodder (not through lack of effort I hasten to add) - recovering at a pace along with the masses - slow with the odd hiccup!! I'm happy enough with that - I'm moving in the right direction.


• A very interesting post was added (thanks) whilst I was away, to the blog entry Surgeon Update dated 10.03.2009. It is well worth a read. Added Anonymously, my suspicion is that it was written by an ortho-specialist in the UK.


• British Airways deserve a huge pat on the back for the help they extended me during my recent flights. Having contacted their Special Assistance people beforehand they allowed me to board the plane early, I could've had a buggy from duty-free to the gate if I wanted it BUT more importantly, they allocated me a 'special' seat on the plane that had no-one in front of it and bags of room to get up and move about without affecting other passengers or crew (not an exit seat). They are indeed Borg's Favourite Airline!!!


• Whilst we avoided the parks in Florida I can confirm that there is help available for the 'physically challenged'. Before you go find out about the FREE-to-use motorised scooters, travel carts and wheelchairs, priority seating arrangements for rides/shows and where the seats are that do not shudder, drop, jolt or move along with the others during the rides/shows. Everywhere you go in Florida (including malls & supermarkets) is geared up to help anyone with a disability or walking problem.


• Worst experience of the holiday - walking on soft, unpacked sand!!! I pushed myself to walk along the beach each morning as part of my exercise routine - oh my goodness, the pain was incredible - I guess my back was affected by the uneven surface. And... whilst it got a little easier by the end of 3 weeks it was still NOT a pleasant experience.


• Good experience of the holiday - woggle seats!!! Yep, only in America could they invent a mesh affair that you thread a woggle through to create a sort of seat-cum-lilo thingummy. Loved it - get one in Wings, CVS Pharmacy or Target!!

That's about it for now. Speak soon...

Lots of firsts this Easter...

Well, we had a busy Easter - as in, we did a lot more than we have done for over 6 months.

We went into London for a couple of hours on Thursday for retail and a romantic lunch - it was a great feeling to be able to do that again but I was abs. wasted by 3pm - came home and was in bed with a large dose of Tramadol by 7pm!! Great company for Dr Vic eh?

Easter Saturday we went to an engagement party and met up with lots of our friends. Can you believe I was sooo nervous. Silly I know, but it has been such a long time since we did anything 'normal' with our friends... we only stayed a couple of hours but we had a good laugh. Mind you, I felt very unsteady on my feet - I've only worn flats for 6 months so wearing a small heel (and in the rain) was unnerving. And whilst I felt self-conscious with my stick, no-one else took a second look!

Sunday and Monday was pure family time and fun. We did get some sad news though on Monday, news that makes you realise that life is very short and extremely fragile... And finally, today I went out with a dear friend of mine for a proper girlie lunch - munch, vino and a good goss, just what the doctor ordered I say.

So all in all, it's been a wonderful few days BUT very tiring. It really doesn't take too much to wear me out but you know what, it's all been bloody worth it. It's back to the routine tomorrow, pool and back circuits for me...

Contemplating 'normality'...

What exactly is 'normal'? Bet it's different for each and every one of us. For me, 2009 normal is way different from 2008 normal (by virtue of my op) and prior that I had a massive change to normal in 2004!!! 30 April 2004 to be precise. That's the day my back, and subsequently my whole life, went tit's up!

Been thinking (for that read, worrying) loads about the future. As I write tonight, it's an unknown...

Let me share something with you... my darling mum had TB in her spine at 12 years old, it was left untreated (in those days it was considered a lung complaint only) and as a consequence over the years her spine collapsed, unevenly fused and became disfigured. Doctors could not believe that she was not in a chair!  So for as long as I remember she suffered terribly with crippling back pain. But equally for as long as I remember, she was the life and soul of the party; she wore the highest heels Selfridges could provide and boy could she dance in them! Never mind that she'd be laid up in bed for days afterwards... She NEVER gave in to her disability or her pain. In a final and cruel twist of fate 3 years ago, my lovely mum was diagnosed with cancer - one of the largest tumours being in her spine at L4. The pain she was in could not be assuaged by drugs, even high-dosage on-the-pump morphine could only provide temporary relief from the horrific pain in her lumbar spine. Every position and every movement was hell... She didn't complain and showed no fear - I know that was for our sake, so as not to frighten us. Her suffering and death has scarred me, it haunts me. And I know, it will NEVER leave me. 

My mum is quite simply my inspiration and the bravest, kindest, so full-of-life person I will ever have the honour of knowing. I miss her so much...  I know she would have supported me 100% in my decision to undergo Dynesys. I've have been given a chance she never had - and whilst she would have been scared for me undergoing such an operation, she would have encouraged me to go for it! Operating was never an option for her as her spine was way past help, even before the cancer.

I guess now you may understand why my thoughts have turned to the future. My mum had no chance, but I have... I've got to make this work for me. I don't know what the future holds for me (and looking at my family history it scares the life out of me) but whatever it is, I promise I will make the best of it, for my sake and for mum's. Love you Muv, watch over me and flap those BIG wings now and again to let me know you're around xxxxx