Lots of firsts this Easter...

Well, we had a busy Easter - as in, we did a lot more than we have done for over 6 months.

We went into London for a couple of hours on Thursday for retail and a romantic lunch - it was a great feeling to be able to do that again but I was abs. wasted by 3pm - came home and was in bed with a large dose of Tramadol by 7pm!! Great company for Dr Vic eh?

Easter Saturday we went to an engagement party and met up with lots of our friends. Can you believe I was sooo nervous. Silly I know, but it has been such a long time since we did anything 'normal' with our friends... we only stayed a couple of hours but we had a good laugh. Mind you, I felt very unsteady on my feet - I've only worn flats for 6 months so wearing a small heel (and in the rain) was unnerving. And whilst I felt self-conscious with my stick, no-one else took a second look!

Sunday and Monday was pure family time and fun. We did get some sad news though on Monday, news that makes you realise that life is very short and extremely fragile... And finally, today I went out with a dear friend of mine for a proper girlie lunch - munch, vino and a good goss, just what the doctor ordered I say.

So all in all, it's been a wonderful few days BUT very tiring. It really doesn't take too much to wear me out but you know what, it's all been bloody worth it. It's back to the routine tomorrow, pool and back circuits for me...

Contemplating 'normality'...

What exactly is 'normal'? Bet it's different for each and every one of us. For me, 2009 normal is way different from 2008 normal (by virtue of my op) and prior that I had a massive change to normal in 2004!!! 30 April 2004 to be precise. That's the day my back, and subsequently my whole life, went tit's up!

Been thinking (for that read, worrying) loads about the future. As I write tonight, it's an unknown...

Let me share something with you... my darling mum had TB in her spine at 12 years old, it was left untreated (in those days it was considered a lung complaint only) and as a consequence over the years her spine collapsed, unevenly fused and became disfigured. Doctors could not believe that she was not in a chair!  So for as long as I remember she suffered terribly with crippling back pain. But equally for as long as I remember, she was the life and soul of the party; she wore the highest heels Selfridges could provide and boy could she dance in them! Never mind that she'd be laid up in bed for days afterwards... She NEVER gave in to her disability or her pain. In a final and cruel twist of fate 3 years ago, my lovely mum was diagnosed with cancer - one of the largest tumours being in her spine at L4. The pain she was in could not be assuaged by drugs, even high-dosage on-the-pump morphine could only provide temporary relief from the horrific pain in her lumbar spine. Every position and every movement was hell... She didn't complain and showed no fear - I know that was for our sake, so as not to frighten us. Her suffering and death has scarred me, it haunts me. And I know, it will NEVER leave me. 

My mum is quite simply my inspiration and the bravest, kindest, so full-of-life person I will ever have the honour of knowing. I miss her so much...  I know she would have supported me 100% in my decision to undergo Dynesys. I've have been given a chance she never had - and whilst she would have been scared for me undergoing such an operation, she would have encouraged me to go for it! Operating was never an option for her as her spine was way past help, even before the cancer.

I guess now you may understand why my thoughts have turned to the future. My mum had no chance, but I have... I've got to make this work for me. I don't know what the future holds for me (and looking at my family history it scares the life out of me) but whatever it is, I promise I will make the best of it, for my sake and for mum's. Love you Muv, watch over me and flap those BIG wings now and again to let me know you're around xxxxx

Routine maintenance...

Well, all I can say this week is that after 5 months I finally have some sort of routine - albeit, one almost without diversity or excitement! My routine revolves around exercise and rest, although I have been getting out and about a bit more now that the weather has turned.

The good thing to come out of all of this is that I have shaped up. Literally. I spoke in an earlier post about my 'new toosh' - well it doesn't stop there. My body shape is changing before my very eyes - although there's not much movement on the scales I have dropped a dress size. Reason I'm surprised is because I was doing Pilates, core and swimming regularly pre-op... there's obviously something I'm doing now that is making a HUGE difference though. Not complaining... nor is Dr. Vic LOL.

Second bit of good news is that my hair, nails and skin have started to improve - hair is still thinning but there's definitely a slowdown and it now looks shiny and healthy. Nails are rock-hard. Improvement is primarily down to specific vitamins / products recommended to me. If your body is depleted post-op and you're experiencing similar problems to me, try these... Redken hair products and Perfectil / Nutracap vitamin supplements. Splurged on some facials but that's more as a itsy-bitsy feelgood treat than a fix ;-)

Exercises handouts available

Just a quickie for you 'spineys' out there who are interested...

My Core Stabilisation, FitBall & Hydro Exercise Handouts are now available. Should you want a copy please contact me via Facebook's email system - this way, neither you nor I have to publish our email addresses on the www!!

Keeping on doing what I'm doing...

Yep, that's about it really - nothing new to report, same ol', same ol'...

Cobbling together a document detailing various Core Strengthening, FitBall and Hydro exercises specifically designed by physios for 'spineys'. Many of us back sufferers are helped enormously by our surgeons, physios and GPs but I'm finding that there are equal numbers out there who are getting 'bugger all' help from anyone. So these exercises are a guide only for them (obviously with the proviso that they run them by their GP first).

Dr Vic has the envious task of scanning them all in - hoping to post them up here and on the FB group soonest.

Surgeon update...

Had 4 x-rays today - hips, pelvis & back and the good news is....

• hips and pelvis are OK
• Dynesys hardware is stable & secure - apparently the x-ray would display a halo effect around a screw if it was moving/unstable.

Soooo... my hip pain could be muscular or could be caused by inflammatory chemicals or could simply be post-op trauma/pain. Mr Shepperd again stressed that it's still early days for me and that it will take time for things to settle. However, he's not being complacent - I've got an appointment for 12th May and if things are not any better by then he will be injecting my spine for the pain and hopefully to help me heal.

I mentioned this blog and the support group on Facebook, no surprise to him - he too is a member of FB!!!! I really hope he pops in someday and posts an entry.

All quiet..

Not much to report this week... Hydro and back circuits, on-going and continue to dominate my week. Not had a lot of sleep these past 5 days, been in quite a bit of pain in the night (probably due to the increased physio activity) - resisting the urge to pop extra drugs.

The Dynesys group on Facebook continues to grow and there are now 25 members - most of whom found their way to the site via this blog. There's a strong spirit of support in the group - with members asking questions, offering advice or simply sounding off about their pain. I'm abs. chuffed because I started this blog and the FB group to inform and put Dynesys patients (past, present, future) in touch with each other. In fact, two of our members had their Dynesys surgery yesterday. My thoughts and prayers are with them and all of you out there suffering from chronic daily pain, regardless of affliction.